10 things no-one tells you about the first week after birth

BABIES ARE STURDIER THAN YOU THINK: You might feel as if you're going to pull an arm off or break something when you're fighting with a onesie, but you're probably not. “Caring for a newborn baby can be very overwhelming at first but, essentially, all you'll need to do is make sure baby is warm, fed and loved,” says Dru Campbell, Head Midwife and Lactation Consultant IBCLC at Healthbay Polyclinic, Dubai. “It's natural to worry you're going to hurt them when they're so tiny, but the only way you'll get used to handling your baby is to do it and keep doing it. The most important thing is to ensure babies' necks are well supported at all times - whether you're picking them up, holding them or feeding. It won't be long before you're an expert and feel totally comfortable. Don't forget, dads need to develop the same skills and confidence too, so let them get involved.”

YOUR NEWBORN MIGHT GO THROUGH AN AWKWARD STAGE: Don't worry; the wizened, dried-out, spotty, skinny stage doesn't last long. “Babies change significantly from birth, and even days after birth; it's common for them to appear different as the weeks go on and they adapt to the environment around them,” says head midwife at Healthbay Polyclnic. “They often have very dry skin in the first few weeks, so I recommend using a few drops of olive oil in baby's bath to help moisturise as it's a natural moisturiser with no perfume - perfect for baby's sensitive skin. Baby acne is also very common. All you'll need to do is make sure baby's skincare regime is kept totally natural, with only water being used on his or her face. See your paediatrician or family doctor if you have any concerns.”

MUM MIGHT BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK: Pregnancy - particularly the last trimester - can be challenging, with back pain and difficulty sleeping. Add to this a taxing labour, followed by establishing breastfeeding and sleepless nights, and many women are left feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. “On top of this, profound hormonal changes can leave you feeling weepy, emotional, irritable and sensitive, and experiencing mood swings that take you from being hugely excited to desperately sad in seconds,” says Dr Yaseen Aslam, a Dubai-based psychiatrist. “All of this, known collectively as 'baby blues', is relatively common - as many as eight in 10 new mums say they experience this following childbirth - and it should be transient, resolving by itself as you settle into being a mum. Plenty of rest and a supportive partner can help the settling process.” If you're still experiencing low moods, tearfulness, anxiety and negative thinking a few weeks after birth, though, or if these feelings are intensifying, it might be a good idea to check in with your doctor. Around one in 10 mums go on to develop a postnatal depressive illness - due to many factors, one being hormones - and might need some help to get through it.

A NEW MUM’S BODY DOES A LOT OF WEIRD THINGS: And we mean weird. Bleeding, swelling, emitting fluids... Not much of it's pleasant but it's par for the course. “Expect heavy, clumpy vaginal bleeding known as lochia, along with after-pains that caen be nearly as tough as early labour pains and increase during breastfeeding,” says OB/GYN Dr Elsa de Menezes Fernandes. “A woman’s uterus is still a big organ in the first week post-birth and her abdominal muscles are still stretched, so hr tummy will still be big - something that's a shock to many new mums! Fluid retention can get worse before it gets better, too, so you might have puffy ankles.” If you've had stitches, you can expect the area to be tender and swollen for a few days and ice packs can help. Keep the area clean and change pads regularly, and if you feel new pain, check with your doctor that there's no breakdown of stitches or local infection. “You can expect to feel pretty roughed-up in the first week after birth, but if you think something's wrong, do check with your doctor. Common causes of illness post-birth are mastitis, perineal infections and urinary tract infections,” says Dr Elsa.

BREASTFEEDING IS CRAZY AT FIRST: While you might expect to be breastfeeding from the get-go, for the first few days mums don’t actually have any milk – just a little bit of a golden, antibody-rich substance called colostrum. Around day three, the milk comes in, along with engorged, hard and heavy breasts. As the milk comes in, you can expect a few tears to roll too; it's all hormonal and normal, and isn't helped by the sleep deprivation. Hot showers can help with milk letdown and make the process a bit easier and, if you're struggling with the sensations, savoy cabbage leaves inside your bra can help. If your breasts appear red and/or you've got a fever, you'll need to rule out mastitis but remember supply, demand and latch issues can take around three weeks to settle so if you do want to continue breastfeeding, don't make a decision to give up before this.

EIGHT HOURS’ SLEEP IS A THING OF THE PAST: “Do yourself a favour - sleep when the baby sleeps,” says Andrea Guy, qualified doula and founder of postnatal depression support group Out of The Blues on Facebook. “Newborn babies will wake to be fed on average every two to three hours, day and night. If you don't rest or sleep when baby sleeps, you'll soon find yourself exhausted, and that won't be good for anyone. It's vital to remember if you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be able to take care of your baby - your rest is far more important than a spotless home or looking immaculate, so that stuff can wait.”

IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO ACCEPT HELP: Holding the baby while you shower, delivering frozen lasagne, a quick sweep and mop; it all helps. “Nobody gets a medal for being a martyr post-birth,” says doula Andrea Guy. “You just delivered a baby and your body will take about 12 months to recover from making and bringing a new person into the world. You need and deserve some help, so please do take every offer going and do so guilt-free.”

YOU ARE THE BEST PARENT FOR YOUR CHILD: Trust your instincts - and whatever you do, don't google or obsess over baby manuals. “It's hugely difficult to have confidence in what you're doing, especially when it's your first, but have faith in yourself,” says Andrea Guy. “And remember, things have changed quite a bit since your mum had you... Everyone has a huge amount of advice for new parents and some of it will be immensely useful; however, some of it will be totally useless. The most important thing to remember is that you are the best parent for your child, you know your child better than anyone else and following your gut feeling is the most important thing you can do.”

MUM NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AFTER AS WELL AS BABY: Mum needs to eat. She also needs to drink. “You'll likely find yourself totally ignoring any requests your body might be making because you're far too busy working out how to look after this new little person, but you shouldn't; you need to take care of yourself too,” says Andrea Guy. “You must look after yourself if you want to look after your baby. Think about when you're listening to the safety announcement on an aeroplane, and they explain you must put on your oxygen mask before seeing to others... Well, the same principle applies to new babies. You must look after yourself: feed yourself, sleep, shower, all the things that matter! This will ensure you're fit and well and able to do your best for your baby.”

YOU MIGHT NOT FEEL THAT ‘RUSH OF LOVE’ FOR BABY RIGHT AWAY: Don't panic. Sure, you know you love them, but you might not be in love with them straight away. And that's absolutely fine. Whether it's three days, three weeks or three months, it'll come. And in the meantime, don't panic and don't beat yourself up... “As with our expectations of a perfect pregnancy and birth, most women also expect to experience a perfect bonding experience with their newborn and fall in love instantly,” says Dubai-based psychiatrist Dr Yaseen Aslam. “And as with the post-pregnancy and birth experience, the reality can be very different. All the factors that make you end up feeling so emotionally battered and bruised after pregnancy and birth can also affect the bonding process between mother and baby, and, as with the 'baby blues', this is very common, affecting lots of mums, and should be transient. You're getting to know a totally new person, after all. Cause for concern would be if the difficulty bonding is extended, or a postnatal illness develops, and in these situations talking to your doctor is essential.”