What to do on turning 40?

If you had the chance to read Henry Miller’s 1972 chapbook, On Turning Eighty, like I did, you will share my conclusion that the ageing number doesn’t matter.

“If at 80 you’re not a cripple or an invalid, if you have your health, if you still enjoy a good walk, ... if you can sleep without first taking a pill, if birds and flowers, mountains and sea still inspire you, you are a most fortunate individual and you should get down on your knees morning and night and thank the good Lord for his savin’ and keepin’ power,” says Miller in his book.

We can agree or disagree with Miller in his understanding of the dialectic of age and the struggle of human beings with their love of life. Yet he presents a distinctive vision that summarises his philosophy of life. It is a vision worth reading, reflecting on and discussing ‘now and again’.

I have to remind you that I am not Henry Miller and I haven’t reached 80 yet. However, when I turned 40 I started to think differently. This stage of life in our consciousness, heritage and culture has different characteristics. The body becomes heavier, and the mind more mature. But does our spirit mature with it?

My friend lost 20 kilogrammes as a result of an exhausting diet. When we met, I asked him: “Where did 20 per cent of your body go?”

He replied: “It was a heavy addition that I don’t need now.”

I asked him when he would need it, but he didn’t answer. He just laughed and I laughed with him for no good reason.

In fact, age is not the body. However, we grow older, which might not be a lovely thing to experience. But, something else grows with us, which is undoubtedly beautiful.

It’s something amazing that you use to find your youth, adulthood and old age. The figures that calculate our years and classify us in age groups that we like or despise, are numbers we’ve written ourselves and calculated with our own hands, and we lived those years the way we liked.

Age is a mental and psychological state that we control. So why let each passing year of our lives control us? If you hit 40 and you are preparing enthusiastically for the next round of your life, and you honestly feel that what matters in the end is “now”, this moment that you live by all the senses, and if you’ve learnt from past disappointments and know that there are other disappointments to come, then welcome to the club.

If you have not yet achieved your most important wish, although all your friends reached the finish line, and yet you still have hopes for a better tomorrow, you’re welcome with us.

If you have a problem with your weight and have another problem with exercising; if anxiety is always accompanying you and sometimes goes ahead of you; if sadness knocks on the door of your heart every night and offers you his free services, then you are a genuine member of the club.

Be assured that there are many people like you who don’t understand what turning 40 means, and who don’t fight time with its own weapons.

A lot is waiting for you out there; an age has passed and another is coming in a hurry. Life doesn’t care about you, nor does time.

You can find happy endings only in movies and novels. Life has a different logic.

Want to move closer? You need to know more. Look for the elixir of life like others do and you will find it in your heart, and in your young soul.

Jamal Al Shehhi is an Emirati writer and publisher.