Longevity: Blessing or curse?

The 93-year-old grand old lady was groaning in pain. As tears rolled down her wrinkled cheeks, she bemoaned, "I had never imagined that I would fall on bad days like this."

Slightly visually impaired but a mentally alert Mrs RP was dying to see her two sons, three daughters and their children and grandchildren near her - all of them together. But that was not possible today.

She has been staying with her younger son aged 71. The other one (72 plus), staying in another city, had managed to limp his way to his mother. But none of her other offspring and their progeny had been able to come for various reasons.

Naming them all, one by one, the grand old lady asked, "Where are they?" Her feeble voice betrayed her deep sense of agony and frustration.

She was reminded that her grandchildren were working abroad or in cities within the country hundreds of miles away from her. Her groans became more pronounced. She just kept mumbling 'Oh God'. Despondency was clearly writ large on her face.

The 93-year-old had transited from the multi-children era to the present age of nuclear families. The five children she bore were a pride of her happy family. She and her husband never faced any problem in rearing the kids who were healthy and shone at school. Interestingly, all of them were endowed with fine arts, including vocal and instrumental music. So, on special occasions they gave the impression of being a small choir.

Probably, the good old lady would have never imagined that later in the day she would have to face the brunt of the 'one or two children' creed. Moving with the times, her own offspring had decided to have one or two kids. On growing up, they moved to other countries or to distant cities for work and were thus not easily accessible even during emergencies. And that changed the concept of homely care of the aged by the family.

Nevertheless, that did not mean that the youngsters were not yearning to be with their aged grandparents during their last days.

Distance notwithstanding, the youngsters felt the warmth of these elders who had fondled them when they were toddlers. They did crave for their good old grandpa or grandma. But constraints of time, distance and work were not permitting their reunion. A sense of guilt was constantly haunting them.

The grand lady's ordeal was understandable because she belongs to the period when on just one call, all near and dear ones would converge and stay with the ailing grandma or grandpa without watching the calendar or the clock. And they would all arrive well in time despite the modes of communication and transportation being few and time consuming. Under division of labour, family members would serve the ailing elder in various ways. This urge for doing sewa (service) came from within the heart and gave them indescribable soulful satisfaction.

Mrs RP has been reduced to a frail frame of flesh and bones. Her complications were multiplying, adding to her woes. And importantly, all her attendants who, too, were senior citizens were facing their own health problems.

Nevertheless, the old lady's frame encases an indomitable spirit to fight and survive that is giving her life support. Doctors say she has completed her innings.

But the grand old lady says she wants to live for a few years more!

- Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.