'Know it all' type of advisers

In our every day life we come across all types of people. In India, or at least in the northern states, we have a typical class of people. They are "honorary" advisers. They give the impression of being experts in every field.

My experience shows that every third person in our part of the country is a 'doctor'. If some smoker in your vicinity makes you cough even once, the man sitting next to you would tell you, "You seem to be having bad cold and cough. Listen to me carefully. Just take some MMM. Mix it well with an equal quantity of PPP. Gulp it down with warm water before going to bed. Within the next 12 hours, you will find your cough is gone."

Should you be limping, some one will ask you, "Sprained your foot?" and then would advise you what to do next.

Then there was a friend who visited our place after a long time. As he sat on the sofa, his searching eyes were scanning the new furnishings. While examining the sofa set he ran his fingers through the grooves in the tapestry. Without the slightest hesitation he told me, "Good choice. But if you had consulted me, I would have helped you get a better sofa set for you".

It would be relevant to mention here an incident that would show how even the educated and well-to-do people could be uncouth and insensitive to the feelings of others. A friend of mine bought a car after giving considerable thought to the make and colour of the family's new acquisition. After all, cars are not bought every day. The entire family, especially the children were bubbling with excitement.

While taking the new vehicle to a place of worship to pay obeisance to God, more as a thanks-giving ceremony, the family took along a female neighbour along. She congratulated the owners of the new car but not without adding, "Why did you choose this colour? It could have been better. And this is too small a car. You could have gone for a commodious vehicle."

The problem is that you cannot react bluntly to such unsolicited advice because it is tendered in good faith. You grind your teeth in disgust but feel helpless. It is rarely tainted with an element of jealousy.

We have got so many "Why didn't you tell me type of advisers" around us that we just don't notice them. Nevertheless, they annoy me. One such person stays close to our house. Spinning a key ring in his index finger nonchalantly, this gentleman misses no opportunity to offer his free advice to any person he meets. Should anybody convey to him his problem, SK's pet response would be, "Why didn't you tell me?"

His all-knowing claims were becoming unbearable for one of my neighbours. He felt that SK needed a dose to cure him of his irritating habit.

He decided to act. On seeing SK coming towards him, my neighbour sat in a pensive mood. As was expected, SK asked him about the reason.

"No. It's nothing. I was just thinking about my future, my old age", came the reply.

"What precisely is bothering you? Come out. Tell me," SK insisted.

"Forget it. It is something you can't do anything about."

On SK's persistence, my friend pointed out meekly, "I am constantly haunted by the thought about who would look after us in our old age?"

"Why?" asked SK.

"Because we have got only daughters who would leave us after they are married off."

My neighbour had barely completed the sentence when by reflex action, SK spoke out, "Why didn't you..." Realising his stupidity, SK stopped half way, apologised and quietly walked away.

Since then I have not heard SK telling anybody "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.