Why is everything in a slump?

Two years into Covid, things were expected to go back to normal. But who loves normal? Not world leaders, it appears. Instead of mitigating the aftereffects of Covid — commercial losses and human brain drain; they’ve decided to rage war. Triggering market volatility as the speculation radar shadows everything.

A novice like me harnessed the fundamentals of the stock market, under the supervision of my cousin during covid, to have an extra hand at money. Small chunks of profit initially got me frenzied.

The news of war fuelled the wildfire as I woke up one morning and found my portfolio bleeding. My nascent investment career arm-wrestled with the global markets during an anticipated war. Riches to rags, that was my story that morning.

I panic-called my cousin. Before I could cry ‘Save me’ he yelled: ‘Bloodbath, Mayday, Mayday’. I want to thank him for such soothing words!

My hopes were erected again when the markets took a U-turn for a V-shaped recovery, the war news had factored already and the numbers on the index were now greener than the actual grass. Little did I know, perceptions shape the market — My V for victory switched to Vanquish as more bad news ensued. Back to square one.

The stocks continued to give me the stepmother treatment. Trade gurus on YouTube were pure panic-sellers and far from accurate. The markets in my assessment are both tragic as also a trap.

Most winners are long-term investors who don’t break out against the shakeout. Like a broken clock shows the right time twice, I think so does holding. And when the time comes, one must book their profits and exit. My lesson came much after my injury.

Misery loves company, and to seek solace I often think about Netflix investors’ plight. Especially the ambitious ones who bought tickets to the show when the stock price ranged between $500-600. The stock climbed up the ladder slowly to the peak of $690 and then took a quick elevator back to $200. If this isn’t cruel, I don’t know what is.

I have never subscribed to Netflix, Do I share the blame? I anyway put my friends through the test. If you cannot share your Netflix password with me, I can’t chill with you. I can ace the Netflix quiz, goes only to prove that I’m still chill-worthy.

I realised my engagement with Netflix is mostly to then have conversations with friends to stay relevant. Rich of us, to discuss fictional characters’ lives and their problems like a pledge while keeping ours at bay like a secret.

‘Cept for the stock price, I think the content on Netflix has also trimmed in quality. The whole obsession to make seasons after seasons on the same plot — while from a commercial standpoint it makes sense — but from a creative and consumer point of view, it’s like wanting a hole in the head. The woke culture content also enticed many subscribers to the party, but now it’s 4 in the morning and I guess no one wants to stay.

Being married to Netflix didn’t prove to be a lasting affair, neither for the subscribers nor for the investors but one can only hope for the story and the shares to pick up once the plot thickens.

Talking about being married? The kind of investment one makes, only to then absorb diminishing returns.

If marriage as an industry were to be listed on a stock-board, it’d also be seen taking dump based on its present perception.

Even in Marriage story, the movie — I could tell when Scarlet weeped. “I didn’t ever really come alive for myself, I was just feeding his aliveness”. Depicting the true core of why most marriages work, where one is a pure taker and the other is born to give. Oblivious, in the process of giving, one day it all gets empty.

I always thought marriage was a by-product of love. But few of my friends who married out of love have scratched that idea away. ‘What love ya, just respect each other, that’s it’ ‘Don’t watch movies or read books, those set the wrong expectations of love and lovers’ ‘We got together because of love, now we stick together because of kids’ and many more.

We stop taking trades in love after marriage. But unlike markets, love is not a stock that’d grow on its own. In marriage, one has to be a long-term investor, and in love, one has to keep taking intraday trades daily. While losses can’t be escaped, that’s how one masters the art of trading and marriages, with love.

Netflix and Chill is no longer cool. But have you tried marriage and bills? Or trading and kill? Let’s talk more about that.

Ashish Dewani is an avid traveller and writer. Twitter: @a5hush