She stood in the hallway unsure of what her next move should be. “I heard your voice and I wanted to come see you,” she said as she inched towards me.
“Hello Nima”, I said, wondering if I should stay put or move away. Nima, my ex-house-help, is a short and slim woman with brown hair and small eyes. The most striking thing about her is the ring in her laughter. She is the only one I know who wore the face mask even before it became a norm.
“It has been so long”, she paused, “almost a year”, she finished. “Yeah!”, I said.
“It has been really, really long”, she said. “It is hardly … what…”, I wondered briefly, when I heard the familiar chuckle. My ears pricked at that little lilt in her voice as her eyes lit up.
“Gosh! I haven’t heard this in a very long time”, I thought. “Almost a year”, I sighed.
Yes. When the world was stopped in its tracks last year, I had to politely decline her services. I took over all her chores — dusting, cleaning, mopping. It was hard at first. But, over time, like with everything, it became part of me.
I got so involved with all the chores that I didn’t think much of her. In fact, I didn’t miss her at all. Naturally, when I saw her at my friend’s place, I didn’t jump with joy but her giggle was softening my whole self.
Nima now stood a few feet away and wanted to walk closer to me. I felt awkward and unsure. I didn’t want to be rude and shoo her away. I mean, we don’t live in normal times anymore. We all want to keep our distance and do away with any proximity to personal space.
The fact that she worked in many houses beeped in my head like an alarm bell. I sidestepped unsteadily wondering about my next move. As numerous thoughts raced through my mind, something happened that I wasn’t prepared for. Nima opened her arms and in an instant took me in.
Head buzzing with confusion
“I am so happy to see you”, she said sniffing unusually. “Happy to see you, too”, I said, unsure of how to react. “Was she crying?” I thought, dazed at the turn of events but even as my head buzzed with confusion, my hands did the unthinkable. I realised that they had already gone up around her and hugged her back.
“It is very nice to see you Ma’am”, she said, with her hands intact around me, “I thought of you many times”.
Long after that little incident, I came home with a smile pasted on my face. I couldn’t believe that a person who I didn’t miss at all, somehow had felt a strange connection with me.
Even as my head pounded with annoyance for abandoning all the social precautions, I dismissed it as the warmth of her love crept through my whole self and silenced all the alarm bells. I wondered for the millionth time, why I felt the way I did — grateful. And then, it dawned.
Matters of the heart don’t have any reason because hearts are about human spirit and emotion. We all need each other especially when the times are tough.
But, Nima’s arms around me told me a story that I would love to remember time and again and would like to be reminded many more times because we will always have those who love us for simply who we are.
We may not know them. We may even not love them. But, in all our lives, we will have those who love us without us ever knowing it. Nima may have abandoned all social norms and hugged. But in that brief moment, I learnt a lesson that would have otherwise been lost — that, I am loved.
This is all I need to hear. This is all I need to know. Sometimes the heart takes over the mind. Sometimes, it is important.
Sudha Subramanian is an author and writer based in Dubai. Twitter: @sudhasubraman
