To buy or not to buy, that’s the question

My brain works on a quid pro quo system. It has always followed that rhythm. To go to school for three consecutive days, my brain needed the fourth day off to relax.

I keep negotiating one act or another with my brain. While writing this piece too, it has bartered with me to come and sit at Starbucks and sip on an overpriced coffee — much to my disdain.

I’m tempted to all fine things. Brands, check. Posh gym, check. Overpriced coffees/meals, check. And my next travel ticket to wherever, check. Safe to say I’m a bit of a lifestyle addict.

To pull me out of low-key days, you’d see me get a spa, or pick that shoe I’ve been long contemplating for its price. I hear they call it retail therapy. It works. And then the effect of the therapy lasts. Sooner than I’d hoped. The vicious circle repeats.

To buy or not to buy, that’s the question. But is it?

The comfort of shopping on apps has also been a guilty pleasure. My sister calls it my toxic trait. Most of the things I order online don’t fit or suit me. Most times out of lethargy or my plain love for the outfit, I hoard it, instead of returning. I may never wear it but it stays with me. Fresh and packed. Till rats do us part.

I hate the taste of certain beverages but I drink them for their aesthetics, and before I slurp, I click a picture and post it on my story.

I’d like for my social media to be perceived in an idealist manner where my lifestyle shows, generating further engagement. Attend certain parties, wear fancy stuff, go out every Saturday evening — just to align with the social media presence.

All of that comes at a cost. And what’s to derive out of it? Am I a normal person, or am I also some sort of a brand you follow and like only for its content and visibility?

Now, alternatively, to balance all those expenses, I have to keep up with my work. Most days I don’t enjoy my work but it pays the bills that support my lifestyle.

Only until recently, did I figure I wouldn’t need to shop as much if I were happier and satisfied with what I do. My spending is not a result of a lifestyle addiction, but the insatiable urge for compensation — to self, from self.

A constant stream of advertisements adds to this sense of befuddlement.

I think I dream in French. Wake up to a coffee and croissant, dress for the runway to work, gallivant through the plaza, and call in a date to be frolicsome with before I retire.

Where did I get these ideas from? It’s the kind of media I consume. I’m watching some content on Insta and it directly “clickbaits” me toward the product they want to sell. This particular one was how to claim your PR in France.

Retrospect quizzes me, whether my personal experiences are to be blamed for my spending habits or have I fallen prey to consumerism? Frankly, I believe, we consume more ads than we consume fresh oxygen.

The idea of consumerism is to make people believe they need to consume more and more to be happy. It’s good for business and a thriving economy. But is it good for an individual?

All that, which was once a luxury, has been downgraded to the necessity folder. Be it your car, or foreign travel. Can’t afford? They’ve even got credit cards for you. A card that assures instant happiness but impacts long-term decisions. Planning a career shift or early retirement with a looming debt? One can only mull over it.

There are no heads and tails to it. Some days it’s my mood that needs a bit of pampering. Most days, I’d like to believe that my mind gets hacked and it does whatever it does out of the ads being smashed onto my face.

For enlightenment, I read up on people who practice minimalism as a lifestyle choice. A banker making a fortune but just retiring early to be a writer and finding contentment in a small house closer to the beach.

While hustle and reward culture works for the majority of us — we need to take a step back and redefine what truly makes us happy?

Is it overspending to lift ourselves from a dark mood, or just hoarding, buying all the clutter that only clutters our mind?

Are you spending to gain control of your life, or are you being spent by all the corporates?

Some food for thought.

Ashish Dewani is an avid traveller and writer. Twitter: @a5hush