Notes to self: Enough is enough!

Last week I ditched a friend. I don't take that kind of thing lightly, and I normally work really hard at friendships and relationships, even when they are clearly one-sided. In fact, this particular friend even joked about it: "You never give up!" she said, when I was talking about one of my hopeless crushes (of which there are many).

But this time I did give up.

I weighed it up and I made a decision with my head instead of my heart, which always, always tells me that I should try again. My heart is the reason I am friends with all but one of my exes and the reason I try so hard with some of my relatives, even though I've had ample reason to give up.

So this girl — let's call her Zee — made a mistake. She thought I could be pushed and pushed. While I can laugh at myself and take a joke, I can't be fed poison all day every day and bounce back from it.

Zee is the most competitive girl I know. I am competitive too, but only in the gym. And even then, it's limited to imaginary rivalries I have with skinny boys (it makes me so happy to lift bigger weights than them). But Zee is competitive with me. If I say I think my arms have more shape, she will laugh and say in her most sarcastic tone, "Oh yes, you're SO strong, Gaby." Or, if I increase my weights, she will increase hers even more.

It's not just in the gym, though. When I came back from the UK after Christmas, I'd brought my nice Dubai clothes (from the days when I could afford to shop in the 70 per cent off sales in Saks). She made a few comments and quickly stopped going out with me in the evenings.

But all that silly stuff I just put down to being some of her quirks. We've all got insecurities and streaks that we'd really rather weren't present in our personalities. It's no big deal.

No, the straw that broke this camel's back was when she came on to Hotty Instructor. IN FRONT OF ME. Hotty is the gym instructor I have lusted after for months. I've talked about him incessantly to her. I think her moves were supposed to be a joke to wind me up, but she added him on Facebook and had her photo taken with him. After he went, I asked her why she did it. She said, "It's my job to break your heart."

I was tired. I hate making rash decisions. I thought about it overnight. I discussed it with other people. I tried to discuss it with her, but when I asked for a chat she said "make it quick" and then left midway through our conversation.

For the first time in a long time, I thought, "when do you ever make me feel better? When do you ever have a kind word for me? When was the last time you acted like a friend?" I couldn't think of one time. Not one.

I can say the same about a whole string of other people too. For instance, my ex, who glossed over the fact that he made me cancel my birthday plans five days ahead of time. I guess he assumed I wouldn't bring it up, as I hate to rock the boat.

From now on, I'm cutting out the poison. I already give myself a hard enough time without other people making me feel hopeless too. Instead, I surrounded myself with friends who think I'm fun, whom I share jokes with and who feel like family when my real family is too far away to administer hugs. My real friends tell me I'm great and, while I don't really believe them all that often, I am so grateful that my favourite people in the world count me as one of their favourite people too. She won't read this, but khalas, Zee. I won't miss you at all.