'I'm old and vain'

Tucking into a corned beef, melted cheese, mayo and pickle baguette, Status Quo frontman Francis Rossi proves it's sometimes better to talk with your mouth full.

"This baby is my drug," he said, and I could barely make out the words as he munched on his first bite. After explaining in an impressive amount of detail the consistency of pickle and mayo as it mixes together, the sandwich clearly fuelling his mood, he continued.

"My PA — we call her Nang The Merciless — introduced me to this sandwich and I'm addicted now," he said. "She's 5ft, half Chinese and half Maori and we're all terrified of her. I wasn't sure at first, but I gave it a go. I'll never look back."

Clear I was not going to take any kind of priority over the sarnie, I accepted defeat and thought as we're chatting about food we could also discuss how the 60-year-old rock 'n' roll pensioner keeps fit.

The remainder of this story is direct quotes from Rossi. I didn't ask a single question. His stream of consciousness did the thinking, talking and entertaining. I laughed so much my stomach ached when I reluctantly put the phone down.

On keeping healthy

"I go to gym five times a week, so I can keep eating these sandwiches," he said. "I didn't want to do that either, but Nang made me when I got older. I go because I'm old and vain and want to try and look good. I'm not interested in the gym — I go because the mish--mash of people is so entertaining.

"But we have to try and keep fit because we are getting on a bit. We've all been so ill lately. I had flu — which they said was ‘Pig Flu' which doesn't even exist, if you ask me — and I had to be isolated. Then Nang got it, the crew got it, everyone got it. We had to cancel gigs. Then recently we had to cancel gigs because Rick [Parfitt, the band's guitarist] was ill and Andrew [Bown, keyboardist] was chucking too.

"It was funny, we were just about to go on stage somewhere in the UK and he didn't look clever, but he was convinced he could do it. He couldn't, as he hurled again.

On the band's loyal (read: obsessive) fan base

"Just before Christmas, when I was sick, Nang moved us from Ipswich to Oxford and she was the only one who knew where we were going. The doors of the bus opened and a couple we see quite often — due to the fact they have watched around 500 shows — were standing in the street.

"Andrew was like, ‘How do they know where we are?' I reminded him we drive a giant luminous green bus and he stopped talking.

"But we shouldn't get too far up our own butts. These guys don't want to shag us — they're music fans. We have to remember that. These are the people who keep us going. We desperately want to be loved. We are insecure little show-offs. It's what keeps you on stage and you give 110 per cent.

"I flogged [my ponytail] at an auction for charity and some woman bought it. Then one day at a gig I looked down and she was waving my ponytail around. Good girl. Some of our fans are crazy.

"But you can't ridicule the fans who do stuff or send stuff because we don't know them. Some of them aren't dealing with a full deck if you know what I mean.

"We have this two fans who we call Skinny and The Float. One is a skinny woman in her 50s with a stiff neck and other is a rather sizeable woman with loads of cash. They are so happy together and have been to so many shows. We met them in 1969 at our first gig and they were two of three people in the crowd. It reminds you to stay humble."

On ageing and still touring with the best of them

"Over the years, it has got harder but only because we're old and tired. On stage still feels the same. It just keeps getting better and better.

"But we aren't as fit as we used to be, so when you come off that's when it hits you. You realise how tired you are and you look like total s***.

"The day I walk off stage and know I didn't give my best, I'll retire. Although I'll probably be too old and senile to know I was crap."

On getting an OBE

"When Rick and I got the OBEs this year, it was really great — but we don't deserve it and we wish people knew that. D***heads like us maintain the status quo. Us getting them means people know they exist, give the honours profile. It's Bill the ambulance driver of 40 years from down the road who really deserves his award.

"We are so grateful to be able to do what we love and we give it all we've got."

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