Friend or foe?

Gaby would like to add you as a friend.

I got ditched from Facebook by a girl I never much liked a few weeks ago. I realised immediately because her tedious status updates stopped appearing.

I was mildly miffed but then staggered when she manically waved at me at a party a few weeks later and beckoned me to come and sit down. Like a grown-up, I ignored her.

Social networking is a confusing business. It has added a new dimension to social encounters and the rules are hazy.

Do you add your mum as a friend? What if she sees the photos of you acting like a fool at that party last week?

Are you obliged to add as a friend the boss you don't like? What if she sees the status updates you made while you were supposed to be preparing for that meeting?

Everyone I know who is on a networking site has "friends" they will probably never speak to again and others they dislike — but due to work, friends in common or just not liking to be rude, they have to be kept on as friends so as to maintain the illusion that you like them.

I once worked with a girl who added me as soon as she started work at my office. A few weeks later, I realised she had ditched me. It begs the question: Why add me in the first place?

It's a strange business. I have a fair few people on my list of friends who have added me — yet when I pass them on the street or bump into them in a restaurant, they blank me.

My new rule is that as soon as this happens, they get deleted.

If they can't even be courteous enough to say "hello", why on earth would I want them to have access to my photos and other personal information?

This also goes for strangers. I can never really be sure why somebody who doesn't know you would want to add you as a friend.

It's a social minefield. I've deleted friend's exes, thinking I will never see them or have any reason to contact them again, only for the couple to get back together and for them to discover I had callously removed them without so much as a quick message.

It doesn't feel good to be caught out that way. I can tell you from experience there is a lot of foot-shuffling and red-faced shame involved in such affairs.

There is also the embarrassment of adding somebody you thought you got along with and their totally ignoring your request.

But the worst part of social networking is when somebody you have to be professional with at all times adds you as a friend.

When your boss adds you, it's hard to say no (much as you might want to).

Adding your boss means you have to maintain a certain air of professionalism on your profile. You can't let off steam about how much you despise your job or how you find your boss weirdly attractive.

There have been several high-profile cases of people taking illegitimate sick days being caught out and fired after announcing it on a social networking site.

Posting "Gaby is enjoying her ‘sick day' in the pool" on your profile is bound to raise a few eyebrows at work or even mark the end of your career.

You may also have to veto a few choice photos — I think you know the ones I'm talking about.

UAE-based writer Gaby Doman gives her reflections on the everyday ups and downs of being a modern woman