Film review: Ironclad

Ironclad is definitely the bloodiest orgy of gore (a gorgy if you will) that this reviewer has seen in recent memory. Sure, there’s a bit of character development here, a somewhat forced romance there, but on the whole the film is a bit like watching an 120 minute long version of the Battle of Helm’s Deep (as seen in Jackson/ Tolkien’s The Two Towers) but without any orcs and almost bereft of CGI.

The would-be-orcs, led by Paul Giamatti as King John, try continually to breech the castle of Rochester, in a battle for the throne of England that apparently occurred after King John’s coerced signing of the Magna Carta.

My knowledge of British history starts somewhere around the time of the Boston Tea Party, so send your angry letters to Jonathan English, the film’s writer/director is that’s historically inaccurate. Which, by the way, wouldn’t be surprising when you consider that the giant sword that our hero wields, Marshall the Templar, as played by period-piece-with-swords go to guy James Purefoy, wasn’t invented until about 100 years after this film takes place. 

Paul Giamatti shot his scenes for this film in a week, and it shows; his performance is solid, as they always are, but he doesn’t even bother to maintain an accent, barely breaking from his native Connecticut bray.

One of the striking things about Ironclad, which is more an action film than anything else, is the strong cache of dramatic actors in the cast. Brian Cox is great, per usual, as rebel rallying Duke Albany and, as a Scot has no trouble with the accent (in a testament to his often used American accent I had to look up Cox’s bio on IMDB to peg his nationality).

Jason Flemyng of Dubai’s own City of Life, is more convincing as a medieval thug for hire, than he was as an Ad exec, and that’s not meant to sound dismissive. Lastly, James Purefoy channels a blend of Russell Crowe and Christopher Lambert in Highlander. While he was brilliantly arrogant in HBO’s Rome, here he’s nearly silent and menacing as the unstoppable protagonist. 

13th century England looks sodden and depressing here, partially explaining the volume of British expats in Dubai. And while Ironclad isn’t a great film, it serves up a large helping or violence on a palate of shaky camera work and squirting CGI blood. Personally I was tempted to check my email at a few points, but if you’re an action diehard then I say go for it.