'The miles vanish'

Zakir Ullah and Noor Ul Haq sit opposite me on the sofas of Barbecue Delight restaurant in Dubai, their minds far away.
"When we hear from home, it's like we've never left. The miles vanish," they say, smiling.

"We can see our relatives and friends in front of us. We can see our village, our mountains. When we get the word from home, we can feel that special connection that never weakens, even if we're living abroad.

"It's the same for them when we speak. They can see our lives here. They know what we're doing and thinking."

Two ways

Zakir, 27, is the head of IT operations of the Pakistani restaurant plus a barbecue chef. Noor, 33, is a barbecue chef. Both men come from the North-West Frontier Province (NWFP) of Pakistan. Both communicate regularly with family and friends back home. But the way they send word is very different.

Zakir emails and chats every two-three days. Noor records his thoughts and messages in an audio cassette and sends it home every month. They both use the telephone for quick conversations only.

Online

Zakir, from village Mandani, emails friends in his village and his brother who lives in Karachi. He also goes online and chats with them. His parents are also given his emails.

"Chatting [online] is wonderful. It's instant conversation, exactly as if the person is sitting in front of me," he says. "We can say something and then the person on the other end replies instantly.

"True, I can't see the face. But I can literally hear the voice. And they can hear mine. This makes me feel very, very close to home."

Zakir chats for an hour once every two-three days. But when there's an outdoor catering job, he doesn't have the time.

That's when an email comes in useful. "I can email in my own time. They can read and answer in their own time. A phone conversation is too short. An email can be as long as you want it to be. Plus, if there are things we need we can send a detailed list and nothing will be forgotten," he says.

Miss most

Noor Ul Haq misses his seven-year-old son the most. "I miss him very much and I know he misses me. I see him every two years and he's growing so fast. I wish I was there for him, but in a way, I'm in this city for him too," he says.
Zakir Ullah misses his parents the most. "I'm off home tomorrow," he says, his eyes lighting up. "I am glad I will see them soon."

Recorded memories

Zakir Ullah FEELS he can hear the voice of his relatives and friends. Noor Ul Haq DOES hear them. He sends a cassette home through friends and acquaintances every month and gets one in return.

"We talk about family matters, plan ahead and work out solutions to problems," he says. "For instance, there may be a wedding in the family. So I talk about what I can do and they tell me what they're doing. There might be a family problem. So I'll talk about it and offer solutions."

He does not mind waiting a month or more for news. "In a phone, the conversation is always hurried. It's just to inform each other that we're fine. Plus, you can't talk to everyone in the family, as only one person comes on the line at one time," he explains.

"When I record my cassette, I know everyone - my parents, my brothers and sisters, my wife, my son - is hearing my voice, knowing about my life."

Both Zakir and Noor say the way they communicate is best for preserving memories. "You know, a phone conversation ends. But my family and friends can save an email and look at it again and again," Zakir points out.

Noor agrees. "They can play my cassette again and again. I know they do that and I do the same."

Two men from the same province. Two ways of communication. Yet, both ways succeed - they are always in touch with home.

HAVE YOUR SAY:
As an expatriate, how do you communicate with people back home? How often? Do you prefer writing or speaking? What do you think is the best method of keeping in touch?