Come tell us a story

We hope, that you have sent in your stories to (education@gulfnews.com) using the ideas given in the pages of the December 2, 2007, issue. The more you write the better you will become at expressing your ideas and the more enjoyable you will find the process. Do not be afraid to express your ideas. Unless you experiment, you will not know whether you have what it takes!

Writing Tips: Dialogue

Dialogue is one of the most effective tools to move your story along and hold the reader's interest. Don't you enjoy brisk and witty dialogue in movies and TV? You, too, can use dialogue to make your story come alive. To write effective dialogue, listen to conversations, read plays, note how you and your friends talk, how characters talk in movies and on television.

Keep your dialogue conversational.

Dialogue should not be stilted. It should reflect how your characters would talk.

The words used should suit the character who is talking. Match the dialogue with the kind of person the character is. (A harsh person will not be polite when talking. "Who are you? Get out of the office!" is probably in character for a rude person.)

Make sure that your character has someone to talk with.

Don't let your character preach to the reader.

Don't let your character ramble and prolong the story with unnecessary facts.

Unless there are more than two characters talking, don't start the dialogue with the person's name. (For example, you would write, "Hey, Omar, take a look at this!" If Omar and another person are in the scene and the character wants only Omar to take a look. If only Omar and the character are together, write, "Hey, take a look at this!" The reader will who is being addressed). There is no need to always put in, "he said," "she said," with every bit of dialogue. Sometimes the dialogue can move well even without these tags and the reader understands who is talking. Make your reader feel a part of the scene.

Here is a chance for you, readers, to continue the story of Segax and the Mystery of the Tomb of Tutankhamun. Read Chapter 3 and then we hope that you will attempt to continue the story with ideas of your own.

Segax and the Mystery of the tomb of Tutankhamun

Chapter 3
"Come on! We need to leave immediately!" said Zeke, grabbing hold of Segax's shoulder, shutting the door of the room and pulling him towards a darker corridor of the museum. "It's as we feared!"

Segax was stunned. "Wha-wha-what's as we feared?" He couldn't very well say, "Who are you?" and struggle with the huge Zeke guy, could he? Zeke was wearing a museum uniform. Had he met him yesterday? How could he forget such a distinctive face, and more important, a burly build like that, in such a short time? What was going wrong with his mind? Axel and Haven looked on openmouthed as Segax moved away with Zeke but they were not going to let their friend disappear with such a formidable looking man. The uniform could be a ruse, couldn't it? They ran behind the two of them. Zeke turned to block their way, but Segax squeaked an anxious 'Please' and he let them follow.

Zeke explained as they hurried along. "The boss didn't tell you yesterday because it was really no concern of any new staff members, but we have received some strange threats in recent weeks."

"Like what? What kind of threats?"

"Not robbery, not threats to blow up anything — that's what's strange," said Zeke not even breathing hard as he kept up a ferocious pace in the labyrinthine corridors to a destination that only he seemed to know. He paid no attention to the other visitors to the museum, who seemed to think nothing of three college kids panting behind an almost-giant!
"Then what were they?"

"Predictions — attempts to be spooky: 'Beware the wrath of the Pharaoh' kind of messages."

"Death shall slay those who disturb the peace of the Pharaoh," murmured Segax almost to himself. "Wasn't that what it said?"

Zeke stopped suddenly and turned around to face him. Segax and the others almost barrelled into him and each other. "How did you know? Did Mr Kruger tell you before I came in yesterday?"

Segax opened and closed his mouth. Now he could read the name tag on Zeke's uniform. 'Zachary Kinsey,' it said. That explained Zeke. But why did he still not remember meeting Zeke the day before? Was he wrong to trust him and follow him without even meeting Mr Kruger today? He was just meant to guide school groups around, give them colourful and interesting details, how had he got involved in threats and spooky messages? He wasn't the all-knowing teenager of his dream! How could he solve what Zeke seemed to think was a mystery?

"Why pay attention to spooky messages?" cut in Haven. "It may be just a prankster!"

"That's what I thought too — I don't believe in all that 'curse' stuff!" said Zeke hoarsely. "But items are disappearing from the exhibit and there is no explanation for how they have gone when the place is guarded so heavily."

"There must be some security leak — some way of getting in and taking things away," said Segax.

"Everyone is totally reliable. We've all been here long enough to be trusted." Zeke shook his head. "No there isn't a commonplace explanation. This is more than that."

Axel pulled Segax aside. "Why not just meet Mr Kruger again? He'll have some idea about what is going wrong."

"Yes, that would be best, wouldn't it?" agreed Zeke. "The problem is that Mr Kruger has disappeared!"

"Then why aren't the police here, why isn't anyone searching for him?" asked Haven.

"That's where you come in. You were the last person to see him!"

"H-how can it be?" stammered Segax. "I was here almost 24 hours ago! Surely Mr Kruger's family saw him last night!"

"No! He didn't reach home!" They were in front of a thick door. Zeke opened it and motioned them in. The room was dark and there was a strange light coming from the floor, just like the hidden room Segax had seen in his dream. Segax went towards the wall, sure that there was something hidden there, a secret entrance to some other place.

"I've been here before!" Segax cried. "I think Mr Kruger brought me here yesterday."

"And you're going to stay in here until you're ready to tell me what I need to know about his disappearance! And about all the other artifacts too!"

A moment later, the door slammed shut and they were left alone, bewildered, shaken, and not at all sure that they were not in a nightmare.

Read the first two chapters again from the Notes issue of October 7, 2007, and November 18, 2007, to refresh your memory about what happened earlier. (Weblinks:http://
archive.gulfnews.com /articles/07/10/06/
10158539.html and www.gulfnews.com/notesstory

Now bring in some more action. You may want to work with any of these: 1) How Segax and his friends get out of the room and what they do next. 2) Why the dream keeps haunting Segax. 3) What other things from the dream enter real life. 4) How another character from the dream finds his way into the story. 5) Get away from the museum to another place in pursuit of some clue that Segax or his friends find.
Build up the suspense and end the next chapter on a high point, opening up possibilities for Chapter 5.