Career mums’ mantra for success and happiness

They crunch time, juggle meetings, attend PTCs while shooting off business e-mails and often come home to find their children already asleep. With Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time to celebrate and honour working mothers who stride through meetings with a firm eye focused on the domestic front.

“It’s not easy” being a common refrain, seven UAE mums share their experiences of motherhood and say why getting organised is as crucial as banishing guilt when it comes to balancing work with family responsibility.

Nora Bensenouci, cabin crew member and part-time instructor

My son Jazz is two and half years old.

I became a part-time instructor before having Jazz and am glad I made this choice as I can now spend more time with him and also do the job that I really enjoy. When I fly I miss him but we skype. I try and bid for flights to Europe generally so I am less jet lagged.

How do I manage home and work? Like Dora the Explorer says, “we did it!” It is challenging at times, especially in the beginning you ask yourself so many questions — am I abandoning my little one? Am I being selfish to go back to work? You also feel fear and anxiety as if you are losing control of being a mother. Most of us feel guilty because we want to work and be with our little ones but it’s not realistic and once you understand that you are never going to be perfect and have it all then you try to be the best mother you can be and all this pressure goes away. I am one of those mothers who decided to go back to work to regain confidence, dignity, empowerment and money.

My advice for new mums is if you are prepared to run, it will be the most rewarding marathon of your life. You’ve got to plan ahead and if you’ve never been organised before, start now.

We are lucky to have a great nanny. My husband is also very hands-on, he is self-employed and works from home which, is a huge blessing.

Mahshid Zamani, founder and managing director of Documentary Voices.

I have two girls; Rojina is 12 and Sarina 8.

I couldn’t have managed home and work without the help of my daughters; the credit goes entirely to them for being understanding and pretty mature for their age. I’m also lucky I have my own business which gives me flexible hours.

In the beginning it’s overwhelming to even think about juggling a career along with being a mother. But if you believe in the job you do then the sense of being productive outside your family circle is a very rewarding feeling. Though I admire women who are homemakers yet I believe it’s crucial to put our skills and knowledge to use.

My biggest challenge is trying to listen carefully when my kids talk about their school issues or friends without being distracted with my own projects.

I would like to share two stories that almost made me quit work. When Rojina was 5, I was working round the clock. I was too busy to notice anything. One day I called her school to check on something and I felt like the supervisor was quite surprised to hear my voice. She kept asking “Are you really her mum?” I got offended and said, “why do you keep saying this.” She said because last week Rojina told us her mum died in an accident and went to the sky. And when Sarina was two and half the same scenario was still going on. One morning before going to work I asked her for a kiss and she hid under the kitchen table. I said “Sarina I’m your mummy I need your kiss!!”

She snapped back “You are not my mummy you are a manager!”

Both incidents broke my heart. My kids never liked being left with the maids, though I had good educated maids. As I said it’s not easy.

 Savitha Shetty, relationship manager, New Age Insurance Brokers

I have two boys. Partha is 12 and Advaith 6.

A lot of credit goes to my husband who encouraged me to keep working and till date supports me through this journey. Getting a maid was important as both my husband and I wanted our boys to be like kids their age and not manage their time as per our working hours. Keeping them in day care was out of the question.

As a working mother I feel organising your day is of utmost importance. One has to be mentally prepared for surprises, say a last-minute birthday invite when you have an important meeting. It’s important to find a way to attend to these without getting too worked up.

You can’t possibly be best mother all the time. Yes it is challenging to let go and not feel guilty. Most of the time we think we are super humans and everything needs to be perfect. It need not be so. The little imperfections make for a good life.

The role of working mothers has changed over the years. Earlier a woman worked to support the family with additional income. Now it’s more for career aspirations and her growth. The dynamics have changed.

The journey is beautiful though frustrating at times but it’s worth it. Try and build a small support structure around yourself consisting of other mothers and kids of the same age and a friendly neighbour who can step in in case of an emergency.

Gihan F Nashed, skin & beauty adviser

My daughter Marie is 17 and my son Mina is 12. I have been working from before they were born. Both my husband and I work in shifts so we adjust our shifts as per our kids’ needs.

Right from the beginning we have had only part-time domestic help. Now, however, as we are approaching middle age it is getting a bit more difficult. But then the kids are also getting older.

The biggest challenge I face as a working mother is firstly, it is very hard to find time to cook. Also to study with them and then to drive them around to the places they need to go to.

I work long hours and there is nothing good about it, as I miss out on doing a lot of things with my kids. I wish that I could work part-time so I could spend more time with them.

Though I work six days a week I would never choose to give up working (not anytime soon anyways) because I consider work to be an important part of my life and my personality. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t change a thing because I am proud of what I’m doing and of my kids.

Michela Rescia Iorini, accountant and fitness trainer

I have three girls Maria 11, Laura 7 and Giulia 5.

I work as an accountant for my dad’s drilling company in Saudi Arabia and am a freelance trainer. I organise my day so that work doesn’t clash with my girls’ activities. I try to make sure all my business commitments end by 2pm, when “being a mum” starts. From the time I pick the girls up from school, the afternoon schedule begins and I would say it’s even more demanding than the morning one.

To be able to work and take care of the children in this part of the world, a good domestic helper is vital. Our Shirley is amazing, she is a valuable member of our family, she does all the chores in the house and this allows me to dedicate my free time to the children without having to worry about things such as laundry.

The biggest challenge for me is finding the time for everything without neglecting anyone. I often feel guilty either towards the kids, my husband or my work.

Valeria Al Zarouni, founder Valery & Co Beauty Salon

My son Carlos is two and half years old.

I could not have managed both my work and being a mother without my husband. He is very responsible and has been very supportive. A good nanny is also essential as she is the one who actually looks after the child. We got a nanny when Carlos was born and also have a maid at home.

People will read instructions for phones, fridges and TVs from A to Z, but don’t read books on child rearing after they have kids. I would like to tell other working women who are going to be new mothers that they should not forget to read special development books as they are very helpful.

What I find most challenging is that one never stops thinking about the family when at work and work is always on the mind, even when I am with my son and husband.

Muskan Taurani, founder Play A Round LLC

I have a five-year-old daughter Pranya and a three-year-old son Aarin.

Before I started Play A Round @ Some Place Nice, I had a fashion brand called C’est Moi that made party-wear. I decided to step away from that once Pranya started school as I felt it was compromising on family time. I took a year off to think of something that had not been done before. I was pretty certain it had to involve children, so that I could always have mine with me at any time and that’s how I came up with the idea of an indoor golf course for families.

I am one of those lucky few whose entire family is with her, both from my side and my husband’s. I live with my in-laws, and in every sense that is a blessing as they back me on every decision.

On a daily basis my biggest challenge is homework. I get scared if I miss out on it.

If I had to do it again I don’t think I would change anything; every day has been a fabulous learning experience. I have been hopelessly angry and upset at some things but at the end of it all I have grown as a person and that defines who I am today and what matters most is seeing how proud my two little children feel when they say “Mummy made us a play area.”