BARBIE HITS THE ROAD

If you thought Barbie was just a figment of little girls' imagination, a mere image of all things plastic and fantastic, then think again.

After giddily changing our outfit three times before the interview, we arrive at Barbie's suburban hotel and bump into her as she gets out of the lift. We show her the Barbie doll we've brought along and immediately notice that Barbie really looks like Barbie!

Actress Barbie, the sparkling star of Barbie Live in Fairytopia, a show on a US national tour now playing here, is super-duper pretty, all rosy-cheeked sweetness and shiny pink lips.

Her little nose perks up at the end, and her wide, round eyes have Barbie's smear of blue in the crease. Her top eyelashes are so long and thick they could be a "Glamour Don't", except they're thoroughly glamorous and mesmerising.

ON THE ROAD

"Awww," Barbie coos at our doll, then tells us that lots of people bring their dolls to her, especially little girls who come to her shows, and they jiggle their Barbies in the air and make them act along with Barbie onstage.

Oh. They do? We quietly slip the doll back into our bag.

Barbie tells us that she's been on the road since April 1, performing in 90 shows, and we're so flabbergasted at really meeting her that at first it doesn't really sink in.

What's so special about Barbie is, she overcomes what's difficult. And she does it in style!

Everyone assumes that Barbie's pretty face and Esoft head, and her super-sexy, anatomically impossible body are obvious indicators of inarticulate stupidity.

And that is so not fair. Barbie has been an astronaut! And an Olympic skater! And a chef! A circus star! A presidential candidate! A ballerina! A Marine! An Army officer! An Air Force jet fighter pilot! And a diplomat!

REAL-LIFE BARBIE

The 24-year-old actress beside us is Erin Elizabeth Coors of Cincinnati, who now lives in New York with several friends from her alma mater, Kent State, and her 9-month-old peekapoo puppy Jack.

The Coors family basement was "covered with Barbies and Barbie accessories," she tells us, and the Coors children were so well behaved that the only unfortunate thing ever to happen to their 50-plus Barbies was when Erin lost the dolls' tiny shoes.

No dramas. No decapitations. Barbie was good to Barbie.

Barbie on barbie

Barbie is not about tragedy or disturbing violence or even slightly dark humour.

Barbie is "courage and friendship and love," Coors says, which are also the lessons of Barbie Live in Fairytopia, where Coors plays Barbie, who is an actress playing Elina, who is the heroic but wingless saviour of Fairytopia.

Elina wears a pink costume made with 15,000 beads and performs on a stage decorated with 100 pounds of glitter, and she rides on the back of a butterfly, and she sleeps in a pink peony.

Barbie on brains

What is your favourite movie?

I love all the movies! Rapunzel. Pegasus.

("Okay this must be "Narcissist Barbie.") But how about movies starring someone other than yourself? You know, regular movies.

Barbie's a little bit of everything. She's had all these different careers, and 80 different nationalities. She can appreciate a lot. Of course she can.

Whom did she appreciate best on American Idol?

I'm not quite sure. Barbie is very dedicated to her career. She's very focused.

Nick Lachey or Justin Timberlake?

She's very sincere and honourable and honest, and that's what I try to take onstage with me.

Iraq ? stay the course or pull out?
 
I can't speak for her on that issue. Barbie's very good, and she wants what's best for everyone.
She would want what is good for everybody. Of course she would.

How about Iran? Nuclear weapons? How scared should we be?

I'm sure, like other human beings, Barbie's touched by other people's problems.

Kim Jong-Il (North Korean leader): menace or idle threat?

 I don't know.