Money is quite often the culprit behind conflict in relationships
The bills kept piling up, the savings kept dwindling, yet he was determined to live his best life.
‘You only live once’ was his motto. But as his exasperated friends often reminded him—sure, but shouldn’t it be a sensible life?
Dubai-based Alisha Naahar recalls a friend who would just never save properly, or even pay his bills on time. He earned well but rarely saved, indulging in extravagant splurges, treating friends to lavish dinners and ensuring everyone ordered whatever they pleased. But when he truly needed money, he found himself in a tight spot.
So, why do people let finances slip through the cracks? Often, it’s easier to avoid the discomfort of dealing with money. You would just prefer to not look at the bank account. Or, sometimes, it’s a sense of comforting things you tell yourself, as in the case of Naahar’s friend. He believed that he had enough, and things would be alright.
Financial procrastination has a literal and figurative cost. Delaying key decisions, like budgeting, saving, or paying bills, can just send you spiralling into financial distress, experts warn.
Why do we delay dealing with finances?
Some people dive into tasks immediately, while others struggle to get started—why? The truth is, procrastination isn’t just a matter of poor time management; at its core, it’s a behavioural response driven by negative emotions linked to the task at hand. There’s an overwhelming feeling of failure, perfectionism, sheer overwhelm. It all creates mental resistance, and so people, resort to avoidance.
Dubai-based psychotherapist Kim Matyas explains that while avoidance feels like relief, it backfires. “People think they’re just reducing their stress, as they feel good temporarily, but in reality, procrastination only increases anxiety as financial deadlines loom.” So, the real solution lies in addressing the psychological and behavioural triggers that actually drive procrastination, shifting focus from avoidance to action.
Understanding these financial mindsets is crucial because they don’t just affect personal savings—they also shape relationships, work decisions, and long-term financial health. This connection is especially evident in relationships, where financial avoidance can wear people down, and patience runs thin.
Mary Coyne, a Dubai-based clinical psychotherapist from Connect Psychology explains, “Money is deeply tied to security, trust and shared responsibilities. So, when or both partners avoid financial tasks, it leads to stress, resentment, and a breakdown in communication,” she says.
Money is deeply tied to security, trust and shared responsibilities. So, when or both partners avoid financial tasks, it leads to stress, resentment, and a breakdown in communication...
The constant delays, and constant friction
Dubai-based Brianna Jones (name changed on request) was thrilled when she got her first credit card. To her, it simply made life easier, so she swiped freely, paying for music lessons, frequent trips home to London, and everyday expenses. But soon, reality hit.
Her salary came and went, with most of it going toward clearing her credit card bills and the rest covering rent. Savings? Nonexistent. A few times, she asked her husband if she could skip a payment, but that only added strain to their relationship, especially during an already difficult period. Eventually, she had no choice but to start tracking her spending more carefully. “I realised that after a year, I had no savings. Nothing at all,” she admits.
It's a frightening place to be in. “You look at a virtually empty bank account and the panic that you thought you were postponing all along, hits you in full swing,” she says.
It was a painful lesson, and as she puts it, don’t wait for a disaster to prompt you to take control of your savings.
How to address the problem
Overcoming financial procrastination requires tackling the emotional, cognitive, and behavioural patterns that drive avoidance, explains Coyne.
In psychology, our beliefs about money—known as money scripts—shape financial behaviors. These scripts develop early in life through parental modeling, emotional associations, and personal experiences. “When dysfunctional, they can lead to avoidance, anxiety, and procrastination around financial matters,” Coyne notes.
For instance, money avoidance can stem from the belief that wealth is linked to greed. Money worship is the idea that financial success will solve all problems, as seen in Naahar’s friend. Money status ties self-worth to net worth, prioritising the outward appearance of wealth. Meanwhile, money vigilance reflects a risk-averse mindset, where financial preparedness becomes a constant concern.
Money is quite often the culprit behind conflict in relationships, not just because of numbers, but because it represents power, security, values, and emotional well-being. “When couples have conflicting financial habits or money scripts, unresolved money issues can erode trust, fuel resentment, and weaken emotional intimacy. Addressing these deeper beliefs is key to breaking the cycle of financial procrastination,” explains Coyne.
Strategies to prevent financial procrastination
It is important to engage in open communication and approach financial issues as a team rather than a ‘blame game’, says Coyne. “It can help to schedule low-pressure ‘money talks’ to discuss financial concerns without judgment.
Moreover, increase collaboration by using financial planning tools or apps to increase accountability. Breaking financial planning into small, achievable steps reduces the overwhelm that leads to procrastination.
Matyas provides concrete strategies:
Cultivate disciple and self-control
Developing self-control is essential for preventing procrastination, particularly when it comes to spending habits and impulsive decisions. Self-discipline is closely tied to internal motivation and refers to the ability to regulate actions or resist temptations. Strengthen your self-discipline by practising small exercises, proving to yourself that you can apply the same control on a larger scale.
Set it and forget it
Procrastination can be a major roadblock, but implementing a solid savings or debt repayment plan can help you stay on track financially. If you struggle to save consistently, automate the process. Take advantage of direct deposits, scheduled transfers to savings or investment accounts, and automatic contributions toward retirement or loan payments.
Keep a money journal
One of the most effective ways to combat procrastination is by keeping a financial journal to track your spending decisions and financial actions. Writing down your thoughts and emotions at the time of each decision strengthens the connection between your mindset and money habits, reinforcing positive
· Use the SMART method (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to define your financial objectives.
· Break financial tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of saying, ‘I need to save more,’ set a goal like ‘Save AED 500 every month.’
· Simplify financial choices by using pre-set budgets for different spending categories.
· Follow a spending plan that aligns with your goals, reducing the need for constant decision-making.
· Dedicate a specific time each week to review your bank statements, track expenses, and adjust your budget if needed.
· Set reminders for important financial deadlines, such as bill due dates or investment contributions.
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