The real foundations of a lasting partnership: Love, money and the law

"It's not about who wins, but about creating a shared path," says Dubai-based therapeutic coach, Anne Jackson

Behind every great wedding is a great relationship, built on more than shared playlists and holiday plans. Dubai-based therapeutic coach Anne Jackson has built a 15-year career specialising in multicultural and intercultural relationship dynamics, helping couples align values, bridge cultural gaps, and build lasting partnerships rooted in mutual respect. We asked her how couples can prepare emotionally before the big day.

Start with a values check. Couples often skip the conversation about values. Not goals or interests, but the deeper beliefs that drive daily choices such as money, parenting, conflict and communication styles. Shared values are the real foundation of a successful marriage. Without alignment, love can’t carry the weight of real life. Don’t assume common sense is common, talk everything through, honestly.

Open up. Emotionally. What we saw from ages 0 to 14 shapes our beliefs, whether we liked them or not, which can then lead us to unconsciously replaying childhood patterns in adult relationships. Get vulnerable and talk about your upbringing, your triggers, and your emotional wounds. This kind of vulnerability not only leads to compassion, but awareness can turn patterns into choices. Prevention is powerful, healthy relationships are built, not inherited.

Share cultural nuances. Mixed marriages can and do thrive when there’s mutual respect, awareness of non-negotiables, and willingness to compromise on what’s flexible. However, cultural values can clash silently if unspoken. So, talk early and deeply. Discuss expectations around gender roles, parenting, honesty, and family involvement. It’s not about whose way wins, it’s about creating a shared path together.

Share the load. Couples can keep the connection alive while navigating the stress of planning by making it a team project. Share the load and stay true to what you both want, not what others expect from the two of you. You wedding should reflect your personalities! Keep communicating, stay playful, and remember, the relationship is what matters more than the event.

Maintain your individuality. Don’t lose yourself in the ‘we’. Keep your sense of self, enjoy the journey, and on the day, hand over the stress to someone else so that you can soak it all in, as well as take quiet moments to connect with each other. This is your day so be fully present for it and for each other.

“Building a shared emergency fund is more romantic than matching credit card debt," says Financial Coach and Mentor, Carol Glynn

Financial coach and mentor Carol Glynn runs Conscious Financial Coaching, a UAE-based personal finance advisory that works to remove the fear around money, empowering individuals to take control of their personal and business finances. We asked the chartered accountant what couples need to know as they skip down the aisle. Because while love is priceless, weddings (and mortgages) aren’t.

Financial intimacy is as important as emotional intimacy. Create a safe space to talk regularly about money. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about staying connected, being transparent and growing together. So, talk about money! I find most couples don’t talk about money even after they are married. Discuss your experiences with debt, savings, lifestyle, family support and financial roles. But also talk about your money mindsets and feelings around money. Most men I speak to are not aware that money represents security for women while it represents success for men. It’s important to understand each other’s perspectives so you can better understand each other’s financial decision-making process and behaviour.

Start with open, judgement-free conversations about financial dreams and fears. Ask about and agree on shared goals – like buying a home or retiring early. Then build a plan that suits both styles. One might love spreadsheets, the other prefers automation; the point is progress and finding ways to complement each other without needing identical habits. Couples say these chats not only build trust and reduce surprises but create a deeper understanding of each other. Avoiding these conversations can lead to resentment or misalignment that spills into other parts of the relationship.

The dream lifestyle is what you make it. Spending more because you’re now a household and want to create ‘the dream’ can be dangerous. Avoid lifestyle inflation by agreeing on what is important to you, creating a budget, reviewing it monthly and saving early. Building a shared emergency fund is more romantic than matching credit card debt! Also be mindful of each other’s financial abilities. If one person significantly out earns the other, it’s not fair to expect them to cover 50 per cent of the costs at the spending power of the higher earner. This puts too much pressure on the lower earner and can build resentment on both sides.

Keep joint and separate accounts. A joint account for shared expenses like rent, groceries and childcare, alongside individual accounts works well for most. Couples should agree on what gets paid from the joint pot and what goes from their own accounts. This builds transparency for shared expenses but retains freedom over personal spending. Cultural expectations play a role here, so honest conversations about values and roles are key. I also recommend couples maintain their own investments with personal funds. This means shared targets are met together but individuals still have autonomy to save towards personal goals.

Cut your clothes according to your cloth. When spending on the wedding day itself, decide on and prioritise what matters most and be realistic about the rest. Think ahead: your spending decisions around your big day will follow you into your marriage! Avoid wedding loans if possible as they can create significant financial pressure just as you’re starting a life together. If you must borrow, cap it at a manageable level. If money is tight, consider postponing extras like honeymoons instead of overextending yourselves early on.

“A prenup offers peace of mind and legal certainty," says Zarqa Altaf, Senior Legal Associate at Yungo Law in the UAE

For expat and multicultural couples, understanding their legal rights across different areas is crucial. Zarqa Altaf, an English lawyer with more than a decade of experience, advises on family law, corporate and personal matters, probate and estate planning. She is a Senior Legal Associate at Yungo Law in the UAE. Here, she provides guidance on prenups, property and the importance of legal clarity.

Protect love with legal clarity: In the UAE, your wedding must be a legally recognised civil marriage, typically conducted through the court. Religious ceremonies such as church weddings aren’t automatically recognised as legal unless they are registered or converted into a civil marriage. With the rise of destination weddings, ensure your marriage certificate is issued by the relevant authority in the country where the wedding takes place and get it legalised by the embassy or consulate.

Plan ahead with prenups: Couples should consider signing prenuptial agreements, especially if they have significant assets, complex finances or anticipate a substantial inheritance. For cross-national couples, prenups address legal differences and ensure mutual understanding, while considering laws in both jurisdictions. Although optional, a prenup offers offer peace of mind and legal certainty, particularly in complex financial or cultural circumstances.

For non-Muslims, a prenup can specify asset division, debts, inheritances and support terms, and is recognised as a legal contract between husband and wife. Muslim couples can include conditions like mahr (the groom’s gift), property rights and alimony within their nikah or marriage contract.

Define your legacy clearly: A will is equally important because it ensures your assets go to your chosen beneficiaries – including your spouse, and ensures your wishes are respected. It also addresses important matters like trusts, guardianship arrangements for minor children, and estate plans to protect assets and inheritance rights.

Understand Sharia and family law: Under UAE family law, Muslim family matters follow Sharia law unless you have ties to Abu Dhabi, where Muslim expatriates can choose civil law. Sharia emphasises individual ownership rather than marital property, meaning assets acquired before or during marriage remain the separate property of each spouse. Meanwhile, non-Muslims are governed by civil laws.

Custody is based on the child’s best interests, while courts typically decide on issues like alimony and maintenance on a joint basis. Recent reforms in both Sharia and civil law have strengthened protections for women and children, though legal procedures can still be complex to newcomers.

Ask the right questions early: Couples often regret not understanding the importance of legal planning. Awareness of how assets are managed, each person’s rights and the impact of marriage on property and inheritance can prevent conflicts. Expatriates in particular should seek tailored legal advice, regularly review documents, and understand local laws to prevent disputes and safeguard both partners’ interests.

Open discussions about finances and legal arrangements before marriage foster trust and help avoid surprises, making for a smoother partnership.