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“Perfection is a concept that doesn’t exist”

When people focus on every detail, they fail to enjoy such an important day

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Weddings are an event that usually bring family and friends together. The bride and groom are under the spotlight. Everything is expected to be perfect. But, does it have to be grand?

Dr Valeria Risoli, a clinical psychologist based in Dubai, explains that people are “obsessed” with the big day due to the effect that society, television shows, magazines and other media have on them.

She said: “People put so much emphasis on the details of the wedding that they somehow lose the connection with what the wedding day represents. It seems that it has become an occasion to shine, a sort of stage to show off. This inevitably triggers anxiety and stress if things don’t go exactly as planned. In the worst case scenario, people can develop symptoms of depression. Being at the centre of attention means potentially being a target of criticism.”

The greater their expectations, the deeper the disappointment can be. Instead of enjoying their day, the couple would be more focused on the minute details.

Dr Valeria said: “Perfection is a concept that doesn’t exist itself. So individuals that try to pursue perfectionism are running after an idea that is unreachable and for this reason becomes a race towards depression and anxiety. Planning is important and useful, but obsessing is neurotic and unhealthy.”

A wedding seems to be the perfect day for people to be seen and valued by others. It has become an obsession for people, regardless of personality, because society is making people believe that it is essential for the day to be perfect.

Dr Risoli said: “The couple focuses more on that special day as if it was the symbol that represents who they are, but they forget to invest the same energy and attention to the relationship itself. A wedding should not be a knot that you tie, but it should be the beginning, the first step taken on a path that requires commitment, reciprocal attention and care. Every day we choose to be married to that person, we choose to stay together and share our life.”

That’s not it. Many a times, planning a wedding together could lead to disagreements between the couple, too. Once again, instead of enjoying the excitement of getting married, some couples reach moments of extreme conflict and “risk to ruin their relationship”, explains Dr Risoli.

She said: “It is important to understand and accept each other’s values and beliefs.”

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