Dubai: If England do need somebody to lead them out of Europe – they have the perfect man in Roy Hodgson.
The former England manager – he resigned minutes after his team of footballers were bundled out of the Euro 2016 championship in France in the Round of 16 by lowly Iceland – is now looking for work.
And so too should be England goalkeeper Joe Hart. His floppy hand syndrome proved decisive in helping Gylfi Sigurdsson’s 16th minute shot into the net.
On Thursday last, one wind-swept blond-haired man – Boris Johnson – gave England the once over. In Nice on Monday night, all 11 Icelanders gave England the once over again. Not a good week for England and Europe.
Putting it in perspective, there are less than 100 professional footballers in Iceland out of a national population of 330,000.
There are more volcanoes on the island than humans – but it was the players who have sent shock waves through football, registering a win that’s off the Richter scale in sporting terms.
The England squad has a combined valued of 600 million pounds (Dh3 billion), but for 20 million pounds, you can buy the entire Iceland team.
“Good Riddance” the Daily Mail bellowed on its back page. The Daily Express needed just one word, “Clueless”, while the normally more measured Daily Telegraph simply stated “England’s greatest humiliation”.
Just days after Britons had voted to leave the European Union in a referendum that sent shockwaves around the world, England’s footballers managed to deliver a European exit of their own in Nice almost as stunning.
Fans leaving the stadium in Nice appeared dazed. “We’re a country of about 60 million,” one said, “and that’s the best we can do? It’s a joke.”
Only Wales remain as the sole British home nation to make it to the quarter-finals, the minimum that was required from Hodgson and his squad.
Some observers said this was England’s worse result since losing to the United States in the World Cup in 1950, while others pointed to their thrashing by Hungary in 1954. All agreed one thing though – this was very bad, and gallows humour was flooding the internet almost instantly.
A joke immediately spread about a petition being set up to have the match replayed, referring to the petition more than 2.4 million Britons have signed on parliament’s website calling for a second EU referendum. Just as Cameron said he would step down following the Brexit vote, Hodgson resigned in the aftermath of England’s defeat, saying his contract was always going to be up at the end of the tournament.
“The worst defeat in our history,” tweeted former striker Gary Lineker. “England beaten by a country with more volcanoes than professional footballers. Well played, Iceland.”
That England had started so well against the nation of 330,000 made the defeat more painful.
Wayne Rooney had put England ahead with a fourth-minute penalty, but Iceland equalised two minutes later then took a lead they would never relinquish against a toothless England attack.
Linker was joined by a number of former England players in eviscerating Hodgson’s players.
“England – pathetic, shocking, inept,” was Alan Shearer’s verdict, while Peter Crouch, who played at two World Cups, was also scathing. “Iceland looked more organised than us. It’s embarrassing, there’s no dressing it up,” he said on British TV.
Former Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright joined the chorus of discontent. “They did not perform today. They were rubbish in this game. Rubbish,” Wright said on ITV.
“Someone was waiting for someone else to do something. They were petrified,” he added.
Iceland will now meet host nation France in the quarter-finals, while England return home to a storm of criticism that shows no sign of abating any time soon.
