Rhea Pillai, Art of Living coach, director of International Association for Human Values and ex-Indian model
As a child, I had an innate need to question everything in life. Living in big, grand homes with an overdose of luxury, I saw intimacy and emotional bonding taking a back seat to materialistic satisfaction.
I was born in London and lived there until I was two. My father, Raymond Pillai, was the financial controller of IBM Europe, and my mother, Durreshwar, was a doctor. My maternal grandfather, Raja Dhanrajgir, was honoured with the title of King of Hyderabad.
I was brought up mostly by my maternal family. My cousins, Sabita and Tarun Dhanrajgir, (models and actors on Indian TV serials) grew up in Hyderabad.
When I was about 12, we spent a lot of time together in our summer palace in Mumbai. As a kid, the ambience around me prompted me to question life.
We had big, grand homes and lots of comfort. But there was something lacking at the emotional level. I noticed that people were in constant pursuit of wealth, which never gave me any satisfaction.
My parents divorced when I was three years old. Dad didn't play any role in my upbringing. I lived most of my life in the care of my grandmother (actress Zubeida, who starred in Aalam Aara).
She was the 'apple pie woman' in my life. I remember our summer holidays, when she would bake pies, cookies and cook delicious biryanis.
Till date I remember her abiding principle that opposite values are complementary and that they co-exist at all points of time. Her thinking was a constant source of nourishment for me and it got me to a point where I needed to be.
I went to St Hilda's boarding school (in Ooty,
Tamil Nadu) ...
... and I loved and cherished every moment of it. I was an athlete, always winning in events like the high jump
and hurdles. I found joy in training, excelling and winning awards.
And if I wasn't practising sport, I was in the school chapel, (a place) where my nature to question everything about life found freedom.
My multi-religion family background held many events that triggered the questions.
I constantly sought solace in books, personal experiences and conversations with people and all along, there was this feeling in me that this constant struggle to seek would help shape my life - which would be linked with working with many people.
Modelling just happened.
I was studying economics at St Xavier's College in Mumbai when, one day, my cousin Sabita (who was an established model by then) was shooting for
a campaign at our summer palace.
I sauntered on to the scene in my pyjamas. The photographer asked me to get into something decent so he could take a few photos of mine. The next thing I knew was I was chosen as Society magazine's face of the year.
My first modelling assignment (at the age of 17) was a huge hit. At the time, I had no big dreams or goals. Modelling was a part-time hobby, purely for fun.
At 19, I went to America to stay with my mum and sister, Nina. I hung around there mulling over career options in marketing, publishing and retail.
Four years later, I returned to India, as I was beginning to miss my roots.
Back in India, I gave modelling another shot and it ended up as a full-time career. Even while I was modelling, the minute a shoot ended, I would rush home and immerse myself in books on philosophy, spirituality and self-realisation.
Having spent 12 years with (my ex-husband, Bollywood movie star Sunjay Dutt) ?
? all I take with me is the most amazing moments we shared. In fact, I am closer to him now than I ever was. If I have to fall back on somebody someday, it would definitely be him.
As man and wife, we agreed to disagree and made our choices. Life has moved on since we parted. However, what is deeply evident is there is (still) a huge portion of love, care, respect and support. Even today, every time I think of him, it brings a huge smile to my face.
Sunjay's jail term was a turning point in my life. (Sunjay Dutt spent more than a year in jail after he was implicated in the Mumbai bomb blasts in 1993. He was released on bail in 1994).
This traumatic phase stressed me out. I escaped to New York, where I sought advice from a friend who guided me to Sangeeta Jani, who was conducting Art of Living workshops in Mumbai.
I started with the basic course and it was one of the most profound gifts I ever received in my life. I never looked back after that.
You break a signal, you get a ticket I have learnt many things from life. I live for the present moment. Setbacks and hardships are momentary, an integral part of life.
If you get stuck (on dwelling too much on them) you get stressed out. Accept that all is transient. If you live life honestly and with pure intentions, you cannot go wrong.
I have no long-term goals ?
? I live life, and each moment, with utmost honesty to who I truly am. And then I move on to the next moment.
