Life & Style | People

Pro tips on how to make friends

No matter how many people you know, you can never be too skilled at making friends. Life coach Carolyn Coe gives us a crash course on how to forge strong bonds and build rapport

  • By Louisa Wilkins, Deputy Editor, Aquarius magazine
  • Published: 12:34 October 2, 2012
  • Aquarius

Pro tips on how to make friends
  • Image Credit: Supplied picture
  • Take and share group photos to help stay in touch.

Check the attitude... No one likes to be around a whiner. If you’re looking to increase your pool of pals, the very first thing to do is to take a rain check on your negative chat. Others won’t want to be around you for long if you burst their balloon of enthusiasm. If you want to make lasting relationships, begin by ditching your whining.

Bring ideas... When you are building friendships, email new friends with fun things to do. This will help establish you as someone who is contributing value instead of just tagging along.

Take photos... One of the great things about taking pictures is that it gives you an excuse to get in touch with people later. Everybody loves seeing photos of themselves and it’s very easy after taking a picture to say, ‘Are you on Facebook?’ Or, ‘Shall I email it to you?’

Book a table for one... If you don’t know anyone in Dubai, it can be tempting to order take-out and retreat back to your lonely apartment. Instead, try eating by yourself in public as often as possible. You might feel self-conscious, but it has an important benefit: you are much easier to approach when you are alone. Bring your laptop (loads of places have free Wi-Fi), or – even better – an interesting book, which will give people an excuse to start a conversation if they’ve read it, too.

Never say no... In the beginning, never turn down a genuinely hospitable invitation from someone (your safety comes first, of course), even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally do. You will experience new activities and could potentially meet a great bunch of people. As time moves on, remember to ‘pay it forward’ by inviting people in return, which shows you value your friendships.

Be confident... Confidence is essential when meeting new people and fitting into a new community. When someone meets you for the first time, remember that your confident, warm attitude will make the other person feel at ease. This is how they will remember you afterwards. Your physiology is important: shoulders relaxed, head up, smile with your eyes as well as a genuine wide-mouthed smile and take long, controlled breaths allowing your voice and poise to carry confidently and with ease.

Put yourself out... People rarely ask for help these days, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it. Whether it’s with an assignment, to change a light bulb, to give someone a lift somewhere, or to carry their luggage, being helpful and identifying others’ needs is a tremendous quality to have and practise. Volunteering, raising funds for charity, giving donations, and other selfless acts of kindness, always have a ripple effect
of bringing people together.

Go with it... Being too picky about who you talk to is a common trap. To be judgemental will only do an injustice to yourself as people will pick up on it and actively avoid you. Open your mind and see beyond what your eyes see of people – you may be surprised.

Get your chat on... It’s all very well joining a gym, networking group, or other gathering, but if you don’t talk you’re wasting your time. Not every conversation will lead to a best friend, or your soul mate, but what harm can it do to strike up a conversation? If you become known as the person who never speaks, don’t expect people to approach you as they will assume that you don’t want to be part of their circle.

Carolyn Coe is an author and the creator of The Skyrocket Sessions – a series of powerful tutorials, which coach people for self-propelled success. For details of the sessions, visit www.icanskyrocket.com, or call Carolyn on 056-7340585. 

The monthly wellbeing and family magazine

Aquarius
Lifestyle & Entertainment columnists
  • Russell Hemmings
    The Hemmings way

    Life coach Russell Hemmings on fears, anxieties and the human psyche demystified

  • Gaby Doman
    Gaby Doman: Notes to myself

    The everyday ups and downs of being a modern woman, according to this globetrotter

  • Uma Ghosh Deshpande
    The Dubai Insider

    TV personality Uma Ghosh Deshpande guides you through the city’s society gatherings and stories

  • Pratyush Sarup
    Design diary

    Dubai-based interior designer Pratyush Sarup lets us in on the world of design

  • Bharat Thakur
    Yoga for you

    Bharat Thakur guides you through practices and wisdom of this ancient science of exercising

Life & Style editor's choice
FROM THE NETWORK

More from friday

  • WH_141024_Lambo_Huracan_STF_Stefan065
    Unhinged Huracàn meets the UAE’s maddest road

    Al Taween. Renowned for its goat s, tiny grocery shops and one of the great est mounta in roads in the world. Ripping up the newly laid tar mac? A Lamborghini Huracán. Buckle up!

  • WH_141031_mywheels_rashed (1)
    Rashed Abdulla Bin Fahad’s double impact

    Ever since he was bitten by a Mustang Cobra, Rashed couldn’t look beyond American cars. So when it came to choosing a pick-up truck and a performance saloon, the decision was easy for him

  • WH_141031_Subarub driven (6)
    Subaru WRX STI driven

    Subaru’s iconic flagship sports saloon is back, and along with all the upgrades comes a welcome price, too

  • WH_141031_SUP_Fiat 500 (2)
    Fiat 500 Cult refreshed

    Fiat’s nifty city car star has been updated for 2015 to keep pace with its small car rivals. Does it still have the magic that makes it a style icon?

  • Jonathan Castle
    Shifting opinions

    In defence of the (gasp!) continuously variable transmission...

More from Wheels

More from aquarius

More from alpha

  • gold-leaf-bath
    Inside Downtown Design

    From chic and contemporary to modern and magnificent home wares, this year's exhibition is nothing short of extraordinary

  • Noura_Main
    Highly commended finalist: Noura Al Ramahi

    Along with our three fabulous finalists, the judges decided to include a Highly Commended category as the standard of entries to our competition was so high. This goes to Noura Al Ramahi for her stunning villa in Abu Dhabi. Well done Noura – it’s beautiful!

  • IO_141020_Home of the Year awar86
    In pictures: InsideOut Home of the Year Awards

    The InsideOut Home of the Year Awards 2014 party held at the Nawwara Bar at the JW Marriott Marquis on the 20th October went with a swing! Here’s our gallery of a really great night….

  • IO_141014_Casablanca_STF_Stefan07
    InsideOut Home Of The Year finalist: Dana Jaber

    Dana Jaber’s Al Barsha villa was considered by the judges to be bold, original and eclectic. We loved her individual approach to decorating which lends interest and unexpected touches to every room

  • Main_2
    InsideOut Home Of The Year finalist: Helena Brown

    Helena Brown’s home in Umm Suqeim was a favourite with the judges because of the many personal touches, and undeniable sense of comfort and style. Her interest in Feng Shui has helped achieve a calm relaxed ambience

More from insideout