I interviewed someone for a feature a couple of days ago and it was easily one of the best interviews I’ve ever done. He was grumpy and obviously didn’t want to be interviewed, but ... he said exactly what he thought. It was so refreshing. He only censored himself once, by telling me something hilarious then following it with “don’t print that”.

It was so far removed from most interviews I do. Everyone is usually so careful about what they say now that it’s rare you get someone say what they really mean. People don’t want to be represented badly in interviews, so they have “media training”, so that they don’t say anything which could make a juicy headline.

Instead, interviews are usually quite predictable, with people keeping anything colourful to themselves unless they need a little publicity and it works in their favour to offer a tidbit of gossip.

It’s the same in real life. Most of us have to watch what we say, not only in conversation but also on Twitter and Facebook, because you never know who’s going to call you up on it and make life a little bit more difficult. I do the same — I never say anything, even vaguely, political on any social media forums because I know it just ends up in back and forth arguments that nobody backs down on all day. It seems the only time we can say what we want to is when we’re in the safe behind a screen — or even a pseudonym.

Even with people we love, we sometimes can’t vocalise what we really mean. Both my boyfriend and I get moody at each other for reasons we haven’t communicated. Usually, when we finally do, things get sorted out much quicker. It sounds very obvious, but it’s easy to forget; open communication really helps you to understand where the other person is coming from.

The answer to most problems I’ve ever had is to talk things through with someone; whether it’s a boss, a boyfriend, a best friend or that guy in the bank who’s making your life difficult.

I was thinking about how much easier life would be if we all said what we really wanted when I read a feature in the New York Times about a five star hotel running a package for single, childless women. The package included some really odd ideas about what a woman alone on a hotel break wanted: a consultation about healthy eating with a hotel chef (no thank you — I get unwanted advice on my diet all the time), the opportunity to borrow running clothes and shoes (ewwww) and a scented candle (meh, who gets truly excited about candles?).

I wondered about who had these ideas about what women wanted from a hotel break. I could imagine people sitting around in a boardroom thinking about what a fictional woman might want. I bet they didn’t ask any women what they’d want from a hotel break. I think a little bit of honest communication (rather than people saying what they thought they should and being patted on the back for it in a meeting) would have been a lot more effective.

My perfect holiday alone would include a free upgrade, butler service, massages, lots of pool time, a bike to ride around the city on and a dessert buffet. Stick your borrowed running gear.

Maybe when you think of the “concept” of a single woman having fun, you think of her doing her Pilates classes and soaking in a candle-lit bath with a book. But, in reality, most people probably don’t do those things because they’re too busy going out with their friends or doing one of the million other things women like to do which don’t involve candles.

I suppose, what I am trying to say without much eloquence is that if we all stopped thinking about what we should say and tried just a little bit more often to say what we really wanted to, then life would be much easier. I’m not suggesting we walk up to strangers and tell them they need to lose weight or to tell our best friend their cooking sucks (some truths are best left unsaid), but just that it would be nice to live in a world where we didn’t have to be so guarded with our ideas and opinions.