Advice about boys from friends is the best advice in the world. A good friend knows how to pitch it just right. When the situation has been going on too long and is getting ridiculous, you need to seek advice from a straight-talking pal.
For instance, after another moan a few months ago about the same boy I always moan about, a very good friend told me, "Gaby, I don't think he loves you any more." I didn't really expect her to say it. I expected the usual "he doesn't know what he wants" comments. But her advice was spot on. It hurt like a punch in the throat, but it made me want to stop being so silly and clinging on to a hope that has never really been there.
The other kind of advice I love is the kind which makes me seem totally brilliant and the boy involved completely unreasonable. Which, even if it isn't the case, is almost always exactly what you need. For example, when I was dating Gym Guy earlier this year, he suddenly disappeared for three weeks without mentioning it.
Well, of course, I wanted to know why. My first thought was that he was a horrid human being. But then I started to wonder if he had been in an accident. Or if he had lost my number. In my darkest moments I considered going to his flat and demanding answers.
I spoke to a friend of mine about the possible reasons behind his behaviour. Obviously no girl wants to accept that it's just because he didn't really care about what I thought or how I was feeling. Instead of suggesting the most obvious of possibilities, my friend told me he thought Gym Guy was a spy who had had to leave the country without warning and couldn't get in touch to let me know. Of course, that didn't turn out to be the case — it turned out he was an awful human being who had a wife and kids — but it was a nice way to stop me from going insane and checking my phone every 23 seconds.
Recently I've met a few fairly nice boys who always end up backing off before I get a chance to prove how very well-adjusted I am and how excellent I would be as a girlfriend. Obviously, being a girl I moan about this with my friends over dinner and the inevitable conclusion is never "I think it might be because you write about them in your column and they get scared", or "maybe it's because you come across as a bit too keen".
No, no, no. That would be a terrible thing for a friend to say, even if it was true. Instead, any good friend will conclude that the reason is because these boys are too intimidated by my independence.
Even though I know it's rubbish, it's the absolute best thing to hear, because your pride is still left intact, your confidence may even grow a little and you can start to feel sorry for the poor, stupid boy who didn't take you out for dinner.
