Children are naturally empathetic and prone to wanting to help others. Even very young children will get distressed when they hear another baby cry or try to help you when you are cleaning. It is very important to nurture these instincts of kindness as they will help your child become a socially competent adult.
Who doesn’t appreciate a manager who is willing to understand your problems or a friend who reaches out when you are down? So, next time your tiny tot picks a flower from the ground and carries it home for you, let him know how wonderful his little thoughtful gesture made you feel. Little children do not have a lot to give, so even if she is just offering you a bite of her favourite treat, appreciate her little sacrifice and reward her with a smile.
Developmentally children are also self-centered so by emphasising charity, you are helping them practice the idea of taking others into consideration.
Today’s consumerism and marketing machinery also bombards our children with a constant barrage of things they ‘must have’ or ‘really need’ and kids can get stuck in a ‘give me, give me’ rut, without realising. Charity takes the focus off their demands and puts it on giving and of being useful to others.
Doing something for others who need your help is a very enriching experience for children and helps improve the world they live in. Charity teaches children that they are connected to the world and that the well-being of others is also important. It builds their self-esteem to see that their actions can bring about change in someone else’s circumstances.
Inculcate human values
So, what can you do to teach your children charity? Well foremost, you will need to show them that you and your family value it. You are your children’s best example and they often take their cues from you. So, talk to your kids about your family’s philosophy.
For instance, we believe that people less fortunate than us deserve our help. If it is a feature of your religion or spirituality, describe it for them. Do not keep your own acts of charity private, tell them about why you donated money to a charity at the checkout counter and what change it will help bring about.
Often, we talk to our children about other role models; they hear about doctors, firemen, astronauts and police officers. Tell them about the achievements of a philanthropist, about charitable programmes that have been initiated by other children such as them.
Charity often becomes a focus during special occasions like Ramadan, Eid and Christmas, and you can take this opportunity to help your child separate some lightly used toys and clothes to donate.
Sometimes they may receive duplicate presents and one could always be given to charity. Ask your child how it feels to receive all the gifts and help them see that they will generate the same excitement and joy in someone else. However, charity is not just limited to certain times or things. You can give in terms of time, money, objects or services and there are many situations where one can be charitable.
Teach them the value of giving back
Furthermore, the more involved children are in the giving, the more successful you will be. So if grandma is sick and Ayesha likes cooking, bake a batch of cookies to take over. Children love to feel useful and if you can combine that with their interests, it is sure to encourage them further.
If your son likes pets, volunteer at a pet shelter or take treats for rescued pets to the vets’. When you go grocery shopping, ask them to help you pick up some non-perishable food items, to give to the workers in your building. If they like art, let them decorate their care packages.
Another excellent tip from Peggy Houser, author of How To Teach Children About Money, is that when your children are old enough to have an allowance, teach them to divide the weekly money into three portions, one for spending, one for sharing and one for saving. Implementing such a rule puts a consistent emphasis on the importance of charity along with money management skills from a young age.
Once your children are old enough, they will bring their own ideas about wanting to help. For example, it may bother a child to see the beach dirty. You can then explore his options of proposing a cleaning/recycling drive at his school or organising one among his friends or of donating money to an environmental cause.
When it comes to teaching charity to children, there are numerous occasions and many ways, but perhaps the most important is that you put in on your to-do list.
The writer is a psychologist and parenting expert to Fun City
