The detached dad, turning up his nose at diapering and too busy to bathe, dress and play with his children, is mostly a myth, an American government survey suggests. Most American fathers say they are heavily involved in hands-on parenting, the researchers found.

The nationally representative survey shows fathers’ involvement has increased slightly since the government first asked in 2002, coinciding with research since then that bolsters the benefits of hands-on fathering.

The results are encouraging and important “because others have found the more involved dads are, the better the outcomes for their children,” said researcher Jo Jones of the National Center for Health Statistics, part of the Centers for Disease Control Prevention (CDC). She co-authored the report released last week.

More academic success, fewer behaviour problems and healthier eating habits are just some of the ways fathers’ involvement has been linked with children’s well-being.

“Times have changed,” said Robert Loftus, 34, of Yonkers, New York. He quit a six-figure sales job a year ago to care for his two young children while his wife works full-time. “We are trying to rethink our priorities and family seems to be the No 1 priority whereas in the past may be people were more focused on career.”

The results build on volumes of research showing changes in the American family since the baby boom years and before, when women were mostly stay-at-home mums and dads were the major breadwinners. As those roles shifted, so did the view that mums are the only nurturers.

University of Chicago sociologist Jennifer Bellamy, who also studies fathering, said some old stereotypes persist, “that dads are sort of the co-pilots in their families,” absent or less involved than mums.

But she said the survey confirms that fathers “are quite involved in a variety of different and important ways”.

The study involved nearly 4,000 fathers aged 15 to 44 who were interviewed in person between 2006 and 2010. One caveat: They self-reported their involvement, without input from their partners or others. Most men were married or living with a partner.

Key findings among fathers living with children younger than five:

Nine in 10 bathed, diapered, helped them use the toilet or get dressed several times a week.

Even higher numbers played with them and ate meals with them that often.

Almost two out of three read to them several times a week.

 

Among dads living with kids aged 5-18:

More than nine out of 10 ate meals with them several times a week and talked with them about what happened during the children’ day that often.

Almost two out of three helped with homework several times a week.

About half took their children to or from activities that often.

Overall, almost 90 per cent of dads said they thought they were doing a good job of fathering.

The researchers noted that during the study years, 45 per cent of US men — 28 million — aged 15 to 44 had a biological child. About the same number had a biological, adopted or non-related child living with them or an adopted or biological child living elsewhere.

Survey questions were based on whether dads were living with their biological or unrelated children, or apart.

Most lived with their children. Not surprisingly, men who didn’t were less involved with parenting activities. Even so, several times weekly, at least one in five still managed to help bathe, diaper, dress, eat or play with their children.

Fathers of older children were generally less involved than those with children younger than five years of age but that is at least partly due to the changing nature of parenting as children mature.

Men with at least some college education were generally more involved with their children than less educated fathers.

The CDC did a similar survey in 2002 that showed slightly less father involvement. Previous CDC surveys relied only on mothers’ responses about family life so aren’t comparable.

A national parenting survey by University of Maryland researchers found that in 2000, married US fathers spent about two hours weekly interacting with their children aged 18 and younger, more than double the time spent in 1965.

Dr David Hill, a Wilmington, North Carolina, paediatrician and author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro, said the survey echoes what he has seen among his patients’ fathers. Increasingly, fathers rather than mothers take their children to the doctor, he said. Some “are anxious about changing a diaper,” he said, but the study offers reassuring evidence “that everybody’s doing this”.

Men weren’t asked about employment, or whether they were stay-at-home dads, who still are rare though their ranks have increased. Census numbers show almost 190,000 nationwide last year versus 93,000 in 2000. Those numbers only include men whose wives have been employed for at least one year.

Loftus, the New York stay-at-home dad, said he feels lucky to be able to be such a hands-on father.

“I’m doing the most important job in the world,” he said.