When a car is perfectly fine in all areas, is it possible that it somehow dulls its achievements? You know, if you raise the standard quite high, pretty soon everything is taken for granted.
The new Mercedes-Benz C350 Coupé is so satisfactory, that it's almost irritating. Because I can't find fault, and I pride my pessimism at being able to uncover characteristic flaws in Mother Teresa.
And after a week or so behind the wheel of this Coupé I couldn't find any flaws, and therefore reported back to my superiors that I haven't got a story. These four pages would just have to be some pictures and a one line verdict; "It's perfectly fine." But then on the last day of the test drive my guardian angel of cynicism finally decided to return from holiday and exposed a blemish: scrolling through the radio stations on the Merc's new dash-mounted 14.7cm display, I discovered a Fujairah radio station playing The Rolling Stones, but halfway into Get Off of My Cloud the radio lost signal and I was left screaming the words to silence. That felt stupid and I don't take kindly to any car making me feel stupid. (Except if it's a Ferrari 458; I'd do the polka naked if that thing asked me to.)
So there you go, the C350 Coupé is so good it actually mocked me. Arrogant little jerk… The thing is, it can afford to be arrogant with that much talent squeezed into its 1,615kg kerb weight. Everything from the engine, the chassis, design and accommodation, to the steering (Mercedes is finally getting this aspect of its sporty cars right) is, like I said, perfectly fine. In fact, so fine that it's difficult to pick the star of the whole show, but after many hours of twiddling my thumbs and pondering I've decided it's the engine.
So far BMW's inline six-cylinder turbo engines have led the way with their typical equilibrium, and uninterrupted and tactile power. But Mercedes has somehow found even more smoothness in its new C350. Don't ask me how, but this V6 feels more balanced than a straight-six. It also delivers 306bhp without any force-feeding, which is pretty commendable.
You'd think straining the motor to reach those heights at 6,500rpm would do no good for fuel economy, the power and torque curves and the vibration and heat losses, but you'd be wrong. The 3.5-litre V6 just chugs along like a tugger, shrugging its shoulders, getting on with the sweaty work without a single complaint. The torque, too, all 370Nm of it, gushes in steadily across the rev band, although reaching its summit at 3,500rpm suggests the engine is a bit peaky. Not true, because that's just maximum twist we're talking about, and I'd wager that at anything below 3.500rpm you've got 90 percent of the torque available anyway, which is plenty enough. Yes, this engine is very good.
Most of the impressive figures and cooperative sensations this engine puts out are down to its direct injection, but everybody is doing that nowadays, so I've no idea how Mercedes made its V6 feel so unruffled. It's the best naturally aspirated V6 out there as far as I'm concerned, with no bad habits and no flat spots, while consuming way less than 10 litres-per-100km even if you misbehave. Zero to 100kph also comes in at six seconds, and that probably means that the C350 Coupé is the one to have. Sure, the upcoming BMW 4 Series (that'll be the coupé) will likely be half a second quicker with more torque, but let's see if turbocharging can beat the response of Merc's liberated V6.
So I have a lot to say on this engine, because I love it, but keep in mind that it only slightly stood out of the whole experience. Every other aspect of the C-Class Coupé is a win, including the design which does away with the haunched chicken leg motif on the rear wing that Mercedes loves so much these days. Instead of growing on me on cars like the E-Class Coupé and CLS, it's grown off me.
Taking a close second place in terms of laudable C-Class Coupé features is the chassis. Mercedes fits something called Agility Control as standard and it's basically an adaptive damping system. You won't feel it slaving away in the background, but what you will feel is oodles of mechanical grip with mild body roll that takes place so progressively, it's as if you're in slow motion.
Everything is predictable and safe, while the level of control and connectivity through the steering (again, Mercedes is finally getting steering feel right) adds a fun factor. Even with the electronics watching your back, the rear end follows round on a wide arc, giving you plenty of time and space to react with minimal steering angle. Even if you just sit there doing nothing like a dimwit, the system will slow the car down way out at the corner exit. Switch everything off and the body roll is still leisurely and turn-in crisp, but the sharp throttle response of this V6 in sport mode means the rear end then becomes a lot happier.
With a MacPherson set-up and plenty of aluminium arms criss-crossing the front end, the unsprung weight of the C-Class Coupé is kept down for great comfort as well as eager response. During normal commuting this Mercedes is as restful and composed as a Mercedes should be (despite lots of suspension travel, it still settles quickly enough on a cruise to perceive it as not a lot of travel).
There's a whole bunch of other stuff that's relevant here too, but that cynical angel of mine has buggered off again, and I'm afraid I'm getting far too praiseworthy for my own good.
It's justified though, but it's still surprising that a car can be so perfectly fine. There is no such thing as a terrible car these days, of course, but still… The C350 Coupé is far from an AMG brute or an M precision machine, obviously, yet how can you fault a car that ticks all the real-life boxes so well? Exactly, you can't.
My pessimism let me down. I'm off to sulk.
Specs
Model C350 Coupé
Engine 3.5-litre V6
Transmission Six-speed auto, RWD
Max power 306bhp @ 6,500rpm
Max torque 370Nm @ 3,500rpm
Top speed 250kph
0-100kph 6.0sec
Price Dh216,163 (base)
Plus Performance, build quality, ride
Minus Poor radio reception
