It's a big day for me. Today, I finally fill the Bugatti Veyron-shaped hole in my life. In fact, wheels has got its hands on two distinct flavours of the fabled hyper car — a Grand Sport and a lighter and tighter Super Sport. And they are at our disposal for an entire afternoon. It's therefore doubly annoying that our wheelman ,Liam, has taken a wrong turn en route to the rendezvous point and we are now heading in precisely the wrong direction. Lesson learned: if you're going to have two navigators, make sure they've got the same map.
But despite our navigational ineptitude, we eventually make it to Hatta Fort Hotel where we are greeted by Bugatti's affable Pilote Officiel Pierre-Henri Raphanel. It was at his hands that the Super Sport clocked 431kph on Volkswagen's Ehra-Lessien track and retook the fastest production car honours from the SSC Ultimate Aero.
Sadly, we're not venturing anywhere near the Veyron's top speed today. The plan is to start off with a drive in the Grand Sport followed by a blast in the Super Sport.
Pleasantries over, Pierre gives me the go-ahead. I swing open the Grand Sports' door, make my way across the ultra wide door sill, and plonk myself into the impossibly low passenger seat. It's uncannily similar to sitting in a warm bath. Apart from the aircon, radio controls and the switches to wind up the windows, the cabin is stark yet welcoming. There are no switches for a multi-stage traction-control system or buttons that alter the mood lighting to distract the driver; it's all pleasingly clutter free.
Pierre is at the wheel and eager to demonstrate the Veyron's storied performance. He talks at length about the duality of the Grand Sport's character and its supposed transformation from a refined cruiser to a rabid hyper car at the twitch of the right foot.
"It's quiet and civilised when you're cruising," he says, looking at me expectantly. I nod in affirmation, but the fact is I can barely hear him over the din of the engine and wind noise. Hardlya surprise when 16 cylinders and four turbos are working overtime.
He floors the throttle, the 8.0-litre monster draws a large gasp of air, and lets out a roar that sounds like Zeus and Thor having an argument. It's frightening.
Higher Ground
But now it's my turn to take the wheel. And… there is a problem. "You can't raise the seat," says Pierre. So, my first drive in a Dh6.4 million hyper car, it seems, is going to be a leap of faith, which is not ideal.
I cautiously crawl out of the narrow streets, sweaty palms clutching the wheel at 11 and 1 — I'm doing my darndest best not to end this test drive prematurely. A further few careful kilometres and we hit the highway. Mirror, signal, foot to the floor: the Grand Sport shrugs off its two-tonne mass and charges towards the horizon unlike anything I've ever driven. It is incredibly poised for such a heavy car. The back doesn't squat while accelerating and nor does the front dive when you hit the brakes. It's deeply impressive.
Admittedly though, things change slightly the moment we hit the twisties. While tackling turns at high velocity, the Grand Sport feels a tad skittish. The suspension is stiff and that makes the front skim and squirm over undulating surfaces. It also fails to conceal its fat in the bends.
Straight-line performance is a different matter though. No other supercar — and I've driven plenty, to make a fair assessment — can hope to match the ferocity with which the GS gathers and sheds pace.
If the Super Sport is even marginally better, it should be quite a car.
Super fun time
The ultimate model in the Veyron line-up costs a life-altering Dh7.5 million and makes a wondrous 1,200bhp and 1,500Nm of torque. These astonishing figures have been achieved by employing bigger turbos and intercoolers, while the engine itself is now shrouded in a carbon-fibre cowl that integrates new Naca ducts. It affords a more slippery profile, while the ducts boost power by ramming in more air than the standard steel intakes.
Further tweaks include a reprofiled front bumper and double diffuser to improve down force, extra intakes under the headlamps to cool the brakes, and finally, a bigger exhaust to help the W16 breathe more freely.
It's lighter too. The all-carbon composite body weighs 50kg less and sits lower, while thicker anti-roll bars, slightly raised main-spring-rate and new race car-derived shock absorbers keep the bespoke14.4in-wide Michelins firmly in contact with the tarmac. And... you can't raise the seat in this one either. Rats.
This time, though, I have more time to find an agreeable driving position. Actually once you can see out, the Super Sport is easy to manoeuvre out of snaking car parks and surprisingly docile when you're just pootling around town. Unlike other exotics that are jumpy and recalcitrant at urban speeds, the SS is deliciously effortless. It doesn't lurch or hop in traffic.
Here goes
We hit our unforgiving test route scything through the Hajar mountains; its fast sweepers and tight hairpins punctuated by dangerous drops present some of the most challenging driving roads in the UAE. Put simply, it's a run you'd relish in a light FWD hot hatch, rather than a 1,200bhp leviathan. But Pierre reassures me that the Super Sport is up to the task.
I floor the throttle and the crush of g forces on my torso threatens to squeeze out my innards like a tube of Close-Up. Within seconds the scenery turns into a smudge of colours as my nervous system struggles to recalibrate to the furious acceleration. The 0-100kph run is over in 2.5 seconds, but then the SS relentlessly keeps accumulating pace. The 200kph mark comes in a bonkers 6.7 seconds, nearly a second earlier than the Grand Sport. It's literally a case of blink and you're at the next apex. However, the real revelation is its ability to munch corners.
Charging into bends at ill-advised speeds — which in any other car would result in grinding understeer followed by a YouTube-friendly accident — becomes the norm. Admittedly, the front end doesn't dart into corners like, say, a Ferrari Italia, but thanks to more compliant suspension and revised aero it feels more sure-footed and smaller than a ‘standard' Veyron. Furthermore, for a performance-focused machine, it's actually comfortable.
And if the acceleration is akin to accidentally treading on a time-warp switch, summoning the intense stopping power of the brakes is like hitting the pause button on the world. Thanks to racing grade pads grasping 15.7incarbon ceramic front discs and an air brake which provides an additional 0.6g of deceleration.
Approaching a sweeping left-hander, I reintroduce the right pedal to the carpet. In auto, there is a hint of turbo lag, but there's a cunning way around the problem. Flick the shifter to Sport and the seven-speed twin-clutch transmission instantly leaps to the best gear and revs relative to the car's speed. And you're whisked away into hyperspace.
To handle all the extra power, the seven-speed twin-clutch transmission has been beefed up, but the shifts are executed in 0.1 second like before. It is astonishing at full pelt; there is no appreciable drop in power as cogs are swapped; just a mad, frenzied dash to 100, 150, 200kph. It's mind-boggling.
Verdict
At the end of our three-hour test drive, the rest of the world seems to be stuck in selective slow motion and the W16 bellow is still stirring in my head. Everything about the Veyron, be it performance, engineering or indeed the price, is extraordinary. Its tyres are more expensive than the rubbers of a Boeing 747. A regular service costs approximately the same as a new Japanese saloon, while those lightweight rims will set you back a small fortune. And having driven one for merely hours, I fully comprehend why.
Unsurprisingly, all 30 Super Sports have already been spoken for, but there are still some Grand Sports up for grabs before Bugatti tucks the Veyron into bed for an eternal slumber. That also means I'll probably never get behind the wheel of one again. And that's a bit upsetting.
On the upside though, I got an audience with this glorious Veyron swansong on what is possibly its farewell tour. I couldn't have asked for more.
Like I said, it's a big day for me.
Specs & ratings
Veyron Grand Sport
- Engine 8.0-litre W16
- Transmission Seven-speed DSG, AWD
- Max power 1,001bhp @ 6,000rpm
- Max torque 1,250Nm @ 2,200rpm
- Top speed 407kph
- 0-100kph 2.7sec
- Price Dh6.4 million
Veyron Super Sport
- Engine 8.0-litre W16
- Transmission Seven-speed DSG, AWD
- Max power 1,200bhp @ 6,400rpm
- Max torque 1,500Nm @ 3,000rpm
- Top speed 415kph
- 0-100kph 2.5sec
- Price Dh7.5 million
