1. Get to know all those who trespass (the creepy crawlies) and all those who visit (the birds and the bees).
2. Prove that rose thorns cause blood poisoning!
3. Demonstrate your aesthetic sense by putting garden gnomes out in the front garden...
4. Don’t want to visit your in-laws? Let them know that you have an out-of-control garden to mow. It’s a tried and tested excuse.
5. Have a bonfire or barbecue – gardens are the best place to create a smoke screen that keeps the pesky neighbours away.
6. Allow the garden to grow into a jungle. It’ll help you avoid those unwanted visitors.
7. Insist on making gifts of vegetables and fruit you
have grown. That’s money-saving
advice too!
8. Bore all your friends with tales of your environmentally conscious approach to gardening.
9. Emphasise the word ‘organic’ frequently when at dinner parties. Now that you are a ‘certified’ gardener, you can.
10. Surprise your spouse with home grown flowers that prove that you know the difference between a rose and a dandelion.
