1. "We come in peace." Say that and then see people's reaction change from surprise... to more surprise.
2. "If I had a penny for my thoughts, life would be a piece of cake." Deliberate overuse of clichés always works. Be warned: People will eventually get annoyed and move on.
3. "I'm hungry." It might embarrass the host but at least you won't have to go looking for food, it'll come to you.
4. Turn on your creepy voice and say, "If any of you knew how things will end up today, none of you would have shown up". You'll have people's attention, but then they'll run in the opposite direction.
5. Carry a placard saying that you have taken a vow of silence. You'll get some inquisitive looks. But you never know, you could start a trend.
6. "Hello Mr President..." Pretend you're on a call with a head of state and you will be showered with respect and admiration.
7. Swear that everything you are about to say is absolutely true. People will be curious to hear your story.
8. Tell people you're paid ridiculous amounts of money to attend gala events, which you donate to charitable causes.
9. "Friends, Romans, countrymen..." Say that and you'll sound impressive.
10. "Did you see me on TV the other day?" Works every time.
