When she was younger, Jayne Goldstone was renting a room from her uncle and aunt and, like many of her 20-something contemporaries, she wanted to buy a house. But while some of her friends took their first step on to the property ladder, Jayne, who had no savings, couldn’t see a way forward. Yet at the same time she bought herself a pine blanket box, a towel rail, some picture frames and vases.
“I’d no idea why I was buying these things,” recalls Jayne, now a 50-year-old life coach, from Northumberland, UK. “I just know my urge was so strong I had to buy them. One day I was chatting to my aunt and uncle and I explained that I would love to get my own home, but I didn’t know if it would be possible.
“My aunt then revealed that she had saved the rent I’d been paying her all those years and she gave it to me for my first deposit for a £39,950 (Dh230,000) flat!”
That was one of Jayne’s first experiences at manifesting something she wanted. Her logical mind could see no way forward, yet subconsciously she had been preparing to have her own home by buying household items and help had been lined up for her,
in the form of her aunt.
Since then she has become an expert in manifesting and she has attracted all sorts into her life – from the dog she wanted, to invitations to dine with people she was desperate to meet and work opportunities. But what is manifesting, and is it really as easy as asking for what we want?
Manifesting shot to popularity with the publication of Rhonda Byrne’s book and film The Secret, which says we can use the frequency of our thoughts to attract things to us. We can start with simple small things like a free cup of coffee and graduate to much bigger things such as houses, holidays, partners and lifestyles.
“We can manifest whatever we want in our lives through our thoughts,” explains Jayne. “It works both ways – if you think you’re unlovable and no one will find you attractive, you’ll probably meet people who don’t treat you in
a loving way.
“Likewise, people often talk about what they don’t want. They say they don’t want a man who’s lazy and lets them do all the housework, yet that’s what they attract.
“The secret is to focus on what you do want, in a very positive way, and then take action to get you there. When your thoughts, energies and actions are positive and in alignment, you will make what you want happen. Manifesting means that anyone can improve the quality of their lives.”
If we want to find a new partner, for example, then we can write down the qualities they will have. Once we have described them as fun-loving, energetic and compassionate we will then be vibrating on a level that will attract that type of person to us. If we also sketch a picture of him out riding his horse or walking his dog, the detail will propel us even higher in the manifestation stakes.
Writer Susie Pearl recommends we put any current problems to one side and think of the bigger picture. This week your priority may be to pay your rent and afford a supermarket shop, but secretly, if you didn’t have money worries, you might fancy living in a castle, or go travelling for six months in the future.
Once we’re clear about what we want, Susie, author of Instructions for Happiness and Success, (Quadrille Publishing) urges us to imagine what it would be like to achieve our goal.
“Engage with the feeling of already having the family, or car, or job or success of your dreams,” says Susie. “Write some positive statements such as “I am grateful to have love in my life” and “I feel fantastic now that I have run a marathon.” If you can read these and conjure up the feeling five to ten times a day, you’re on your way.”
She also suggests we give away some of the things we need, which sounds like a contradiction, but actually emits the frequency that we’re ready to receive more into our lives.
“If you are looking for love, give some love away,” advises Susie. “Find someone who needs help, visit an old person or show some kindness to a teenager.
“If you’re struggling for money, be generous with your time, or send some old clothes to a charity shop.”
As well as affirmation statements, experts also recommend the use of vision boards – a collection of pictures and symbols representing the things we want to manifest.
When Jayne Goldstone stuck a photo of a golden cocker spaniel puppy on her vision board, she got her beloved dog Chip a few weeks later. She also wanted to visit New York so she added a picture of the Statue of Liberty. Not long after, she received an invitation from a friend asking her to go and stay in New York.
The boards are best displayed somewhere prominent so we see them and are reminded of them often.
“If you want to meet someone nice, put some images of romance on your board,” advises Jayne. “If you want to travel, stick up some pictures of beautiful destinations. Use words as well as images, and put a photo of yourself at the centre.”
Susie Pearl recommends a ‘create’ box. “Take a beautiful box and pop in something that represents your wishes and dreams,” she says. “If you want to do a new college course, put in a copy of a prospectus. If you want to meet someone new, put in a picture of a soulmate. Just putting these things in the box will activate your unconscious mind, but going back and revisiting it will make the messages even stronger. Once you have asked for these things in your life, say: ‘Thank you, it’s already done, show me,’ and relax!
“If things don’t start appearing it’s because you’re blocking them in some way. There are three reasons why people don’t succeed in manifesting – they don’t know for sure what they want, they’re afraid of getting it or they’re not taking any action towards activating their goals.”
Focus on your goals
Counsellor Alastair Mordey advocates both vision boards and visualisation to help clients get what they want – after experiencing amazing results himself.
“A few years ago I realised that I wanted to live in a cabin in the mountains,” reveals Alastair, who is now Programme Director at The Cabin in Chiang Mai in Thailand. “As I pictured it in my mind’s eye, I thought it might be in the Alps or Pyrenees. But when I moved out to Thailand to take up my present job, my accommodation was in a cabin in the jungle!
“By vividly imagining things we build new neural networks in our brains. We use the principle of “lock in, lock out”.
“An example of this is if we are in the road and a car is speeding towards us, we will go into tunnel vision and build a blindness to everything that is irrelevant, such as our friend still talking or two people arguing across the road. All we will see is the car hurtling towards us. It’s the same when we are manifesting – we focus on the things that are important and everything else becomes irrelevant.
“If you know you want to live in a house by the sea, you’ll stop looking at advertisements for flats in the middle of big cities or cute cottages in the countryside. You bring the things you want into your focus.”
‘I got my job through manifesting!’
Amy McFarling, 37, is managing director of digital marketing and technology agency LBi in Dubai.
“I’ve been pasting clippings of sayings and pictures on my bathroom mirror for the past five years. Everything I want to manifest stares me in the face every morning before the noise of the day kicks in.
I manifested my first job at LBi in 2007 and last year, through manifestation, I managed to hit my cash savings goal, achieve a regular meditation schedule and renew a friendship with someone close to me that I had been neglecting.
I sometimes use visualisation to sort out behaviour – I picture myself calm in certain situations and I see myself meditating. I also stick inspirational phrases on my desk at work.
I’d advise any beginners who are trying manifesting just to use words or symbols on a board or write a paragraph to your future self sharing how you feel about having the things you want. Don’t over-focus.
I used to think this was all New Age hogwash but now I know how powerful it is.”
‘I manifested my fiancé!’
Rachel Evans, 41, is a personal assistant, and she lives with her partner Mike Joseph, 40, who runs an insurance brokerage firm in Essex. They are hoping to buy property in Dubai.
“I started to use positive visualisations after reading a book by Jerry and Esther Hicks. This book turned my life around after having struggled as a single mum for ten years and also having had a stillborn baby.
In my bedroom and walk-in wardrobe I have a vision board with photos of inspirational figures such as Jennifer Nicole Lee and Madonna. I also have a picture of my 11-year-old son Rees and a dollar note, along with Post-it notes of what I want to do or be in life.
In 2010 I visualised being in the UK press, talking about my beauty and fitness business – www.makeoveressex.com – and I pictured my son getting into a good school. Both of these things have now happened. I successfully visualised myself looking toned after working out in the gym and setting up my own business in fashion, fitness and beauty, which is now thriving.
I even manifested Mike! In 2009 I visualised myself on a beach near the ocean walking hand in hand with a man and in 2010 I visualised myself falling in love with a man with muscles lifting weights in a gym. The following year, I met Mike through facebook friends and we instantly hit it off and fell in love.
We recently walked hand in hand on the beach in Dubai where we stayed at the Jumeirah Beach Hotel and had the most romantic break. While we were there, Mike proposed to me and we’re now very excited about our future together.
I’ve found that by having faith in myself and my abilities, asking for what I want, and then taking the steps to get what I want, manifestation really does work.”