1. Often the speeches are the most anticipated part of the reception. There is a modern tendency to make the speeches – in particular the last one, the best man’s – smutty and embarrassing. These best men decide to appeal to the rather base sense of humour of his and the groom’s closest friends, totally forgetting Great Aunt Edna and infant ears. A best man’s speech may be funny, by all means, but it should never be lewd.
2. The best man’s speech is the final speech. It follows the father of the bride’s speech, toast to the happy couple, and the groom’s reply and the toast to the bridesmaids.
3. Really thoughtful best men will send a copy of the speech to the groom’s parents to see whether they think anything may be a step too far, or if anything may offend sections of the audience.
4. A custom that is quickly dying but still correct if needs be, is for the best man to read out any messages from important guests that cannot be there on the day. However, this can go on for quite a while, so if there are lots of messages, just the names of the people who can’t be there can be read out (the messages will all be the same, in essence, anyway!). Should there be one or two amusing messages from absent relatives, then these can be read.
5. Last year, Tom Fletcher of the British boyband McFly gave the groom’s speech at his wedding. Not being a wonderful public speaker, he decided to sing the speech to the tune of one of the band’s biggest hits. It became a viral sensation on YouTube and rightly so – it was clever and witty but not smutty or infantile.
6. Some best men have started using PowerPoint presentations to show photographs of the antics of the stag party. This is not to be encouraged.
7. The better best man’s speech paints an amusing picture of the groom, to introduce him and his character to the bride’s family, some of whom may not know him very well at all.
8. A good best man’s speech is around ten minutes long. Wedding speeches can get terribly self-indulgent and often the wedding party and the guests are very tired by this point, so avoid the danger of waffling. Keep the speech tight and bright!
9. Asking the groom’s other close friends for stories, anecdotes or amusing titbits can be of great help when writing the speech, and practising it in front your friends (to see where the laughs come, and to get their general opinion) is a good idea.
10. Traditionally, the best man’s speech does not need to end with a toast, but nowadays, a second toast to the new husband and wife is usually done.
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