It struck me recently that there are many unexplained phenomena in the world. I am not talking about the big stuff like UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster, but the real things that seem to cut across my existence with regularity.
I have spent quite a lot of time on aeroplanes recently. Question: Why is it that it's only when the crew serve the hot drinks that the flight seems to hit turbulence?
I will admit to not even understanding what turbulence is - that there are pockets of different air pressure way up there in the sky does not explain to me why it feels like we are going over hard speed bumps! But whatever it is, it seems to get served up with the hot liquid. Talk about panic! I am clipping my seat belt on with one hand, but my real concern is placing the tea in that pointless indentation in the pull-down tray, in the hope that I won't suffer a spillage that could scar me for life!
Other food and beverage mysteries include why if one wears a nice shirt for work, one is almost certainly gonna suffer some kind of splashage on it - the worst being sauce. Also, if I drop hummus, it will definitely land on my trousers.
I am a frustratingly-for-some workaholic who arrives at work at around 9am and struggles to leave much before 8pm every night. Why is it that on the rare occasions that I treat myself to an early 6.30pm finish, and I hit Shaikh Zayed Road for the quickest possible journey home, there is a massive traffic jam. More frustratingly, on these occasions, there is never any visible reason for the chaos. It's like the freeway has some kind of strange philosophy that it lives by… "I think…therefore I jam".
Why does the American singer P!nk always pretend to ride a motorbike in her videos? Does she think that it somehow makes her look tough and edgy or does she secretly harbour a dream to deliver pizza? Pink Pizza that has a certain something-something about it maybe. I should approach her people and see if she wants to put her name to it. Talking of names, is the beautiful Rihanna really forgetful or does she suffer from some mind-erasing condition? If not then why does she keep asking us "Ooo-Naa-Naa-What's My Name?" Maybe Ri-Ri should cover Eminem's My Name Is, just to help her keep it in there with constant repetition.
Repetition? Am I going on a bit today? Apologies, just had a few things rattling around that I wanted to share with ya to cleanse from my consciousness!
Question-ingly, yours
G*Nice
