Airport chaos: Jason Derulo and 9 rowdy celebs

When did airports become so awful? They used to seem majestic. Regal, even.

In the past, commercial flights seemed high-class affairs, where you could eat with metal cutlery and smoke a cigarette while speeding your way to an exotic destination halfway across the world.

Look at them now. I consider it a miracle each time I make it to the airport, through the security area and into my seat on the plane without bursting into silent tears or repeating “I hate everyone” under my breath.

When you consider what we’re up against, Jason Derulo’s recent altercation with Southwest Airlines staff in Nevada almost makes sense. The R ‘n’ B singer and his entourage were allegedly told that he would have to stand in line like everyone else.

“We were literally just trying to not cause a ruckus,” Derulo later said. “My security was just trying to tell the agent, ‘Can we go to this section so we don’t cause a ruckus?’”

After kicking up a fuss, he and his lot were asked to leave the plane — and he ended up taking a private jet to LA.

Derulo joins a healthy stable of celebrities who’ve found themselves involved in flight-related controversies — from Courtney Love to the Stone Roses’ Ian Brown. Whether succumbing to the rage that air travel naturally inspires, or lurching through a near-crash, here are nine of the best examples. Which would you add?

1. ‘I’m just trying to get to my [expletive] seat’

Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong was chucked off a plane for refusing to hoist up his sagging trousers, in September 2011. According to an ABC producer, who happened to be on the same flight, Armstrong responded with, “don’t you have better things to do than worry about that?” when challenged by the flight attendant. Apparently not. When he failed to comply, Armstrong was shown the exit. His angry tweets about the incident only add to its delightful absurdity.

2. ‘You’re just a captain and I’m REM’

A decade earlier, REM guitarist Peter Buck felt the highs and lows of mixing wine and sleeping pills. On a British Airways flight from Seattle to London, Buck allegedly opened a yogurt pot all over himself and a flight attendant in a scuffle, sat down next to a woman in business class and claimed (wrongly) that she was his wife, overturned a food trolley and physically struggled with two members of in-flight staff. In the court testimony after the altercation, Buck was said to have told the captain — who came out of the cockpit to deal with the kerfuffle — that he was “just a [expletive] captain and I’m REM”. Whether or not that comparison holds any water, Buck was cleared of all charges in 2002.

3. ‘Welcome to Bangkok’

Don’t mess with Bjork. The Icelandic musician and producer appears to be some sort of forest-dwelling nymph queen, but could clearly square up to anyone, if necessary. In 1996, a reporter learned this lesson the hard way. A quick “welcome to Bangkok” in the city’s international airport turned to blows and ended with people having to pull Bjork off the journalist. She’d clearly had it with the press and paparazzi following her and her son around. In 2008, Bjork was also accused of ripping a paparazzo’s shirt at Auckland airport. Like I said: leave this one, mate.

4. ‘A very nasty man tried to kill us all but we’re all right now’

A joyous post-Christmas flight this certainly was not. In December 2000, a “mentally unstable man” tried to commandeer an aircraft on the way from London to Nairobi. Bryan Ferry was among those on the flight — as well as Jemima Khan, who later wrote about her so-called “plane porn” obsession. The pilot issued the above statement after passengers helped staff bundle the man out of the cockpit. Don’t worry, Ferry was in no way involved in the violent scuffle, though he did state the beautifully obvious upon arrival, saying: “I’m relieved to get here in one piece.”

5. ‘There’s a serious lack of funny bones around here’

Susan Boyle may not seem like the type to throw an airport hissy fit — because she didn’t. In 2010, the Sun reported that she’d lost her cool in a VIP British Airways departure lounge, singing and “shouting obscenities at high volume”. But, according to a short report on an Irish news site, SuBo had been having a bit of fun singing on request. When one fellow VIP sounded less than enthused about the performance, Boyle apparently grabbed a mop, continued singing into it and then used to it “shine” the disapproving man’s shoes. Wait. This story is still ridiculous, whichever way it’s spun. The final word, from British Airways: “A customer in the BA lounge on Tuesday was asked to temper their behaviour as it was becoming disruptive.” Fine.

6. ‘He knocked her out’

In a pretty violent and bizarre incident in 2008, Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky got into a physical altercation with America’s Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden.

The pair and their families crossed paths in a Caribbean airport. A heated argument broke out between Golden’s aunt and Blonsky, and subsequently, Blonsky’s father, Carl, was said to have punched Golden’s mother.

“He knocked her out,” Golden said in an interview with Tyra Banks. “He hit my mum with such force she stumbled back and when she stumbled back the whole family got up and attacked my mum.”

Blonsky then kicked Golden’s mother, while she was on the ground, which caused the two celebrities to get into a fight themselves.

Carl, Blonsky and Golden were all arrested under assault charges.

7. ‘Get off me’

Naomi Campell was one unhappy flier in 2008 when one of her bags went missing on a British Airways flight out of Heathrow.

She had checked in her luggage to LA, where she was heading for a memorial, but once she boarded the airplane, she was told one of her bags was unaccounted for.

Campell apparently lost her cool, causing the inflight officials to call the police. She was handcuffed and ejected from the flight, and was heard by witnesses yelling “get off me, leave me alone” as she was taken to the Heathrow police station.

She was charged with three counts of assault, one count of disorderly behaviour and two counts of threatening or abusive behaviour.

8. ‘I will kill you all’

Twice in two years, Jonathon Rhys Meyers was the centre of airport drama.

The first incident went down in Dublin in 2007, shortly after the Tudors actor, who struggles with addiction, was released from rehab. Meyers ignored several requests to calm down, causing airport officials to call the police.

But things got much worse in 2009. Meyers punched a waiter and threatened police officers at Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport, resulting in his arrest.

A witness said Meyers was yelling things like ‘I will kill you all’ and throwing money on the ground to show he can buy himself out of any situation.

9. ‘Drop your bags, let’s rock to the ‘50s’

In 2004, a Harley Davidson salesman got more than he bargained for when he recognised actor and fitness personality Richard Simmons at Sky Harbour International Airport in Phoenix.

Chris Farney, 23, a cage wrestler in his spare time, saw Simmons and said, “Look, Richard Simmons. Drop your bags, let’s rock to the ‘50’s.”

This was a reference to an old workout tape — one that Simmons didn’t take very well to.

Simmons walked over to Farney, told him it’s not to “make fun of people with issues”, and slapped him across the face. Farney called the cops, leading to Simmons being charged with assault.

— With inputs from Marwa Hamad, Staff Reporter