If there is anyone in the world not to take advice from, it’s my dad. He’s not a bad man but, it’s fair to say he isn’t a great life guru either. But, parenting issues aside, one piece of advice he gave me really stuck: “Never trust anyone”.

I think I remember it so well for two reasons. Firstly, hearing that piece of advice when you’re young and naive is pretty jarring with your world view. There is, if you’re lucky enough to come from a privileged background, a time when you believed that, more or less, everyone was pretty cool and the world was a pretty sweet place. So, yeah, I thought my dad was a bit of a misery guts when he said that. But, the other reason I remember it so well is that, tragically, it turns out to be true more often that I’d care to admit.

I feel that, when it comes down to it, most people do end up letting you down. Whether we have the best intentions that we can’t follow through or we just don’t care enough, there are times when we’ve all let people down. We’re not superhuman. In order to keep sane and still have friends you have to make concessions for people and you have to forgive people.

But, saying all that, there also comes a time you have to stop making concessions. This week, I ditched a friend and it really hurt to do it. I have lots of friends I like to go out for meals with or see in the gym but, when it comes to close friends, I have just a handful because they’re so rare and precious. I choose my friends carefully and so, when it turns out I can’t trust one of them, it’s like a break-up.

I still can’t understand her behaviour but, since I’ve lived in Amsterdam (she lives on the other side of the world), she’s been very unsupportive during a time I’ve really needed support. As much as I like to put on a front that I take hopping around the world in my stride, it’s actually a bit of a nightmare both financially and mentally.

There have been tears and tantrums, I gotta say. There’s a whole ream of hurtful reasons I decided we were through as friends but one was that when I messaged her to tell her I needed to chat, she told me she had her own problems and couldn’t deal with mine too. She didn’t so much as ask me what was wrong. I just can’t fathom leaving a friend in need hanging like that.

I understand that when times are hard, it’s tough to rally enough energy to support others, too. But I really think there’s always room to hear a friend out because, more often than not, they just need an ear and, perhaps, a few encouraging sounds. When I have a close friend I will nurture them like the delicate orchids they are. It’s time consuming but so, so rewarding. Is it so much to ask for a little TLC in return when you’re withering a little?

I’m not sure how far the orchid analogy will work but my point is that good friends are hard to find and occasionally you may have to do a little weeding. It’s heartbreaking, but ultimately it gives you time to focus on your other orchids. And when you find those prize orchids, tell them you love them and do whatever the human equivalent is of spritzing them with fertiliser on a regular basis.

Side note: Friends don’t like being sprayed with fertiliser.

I firmly believe you can trust some people to be there for you through thick and thin, and those few people deserve your fierce loyalty because boy, are they few and far between.