I’ve heard every jibe out there about the Mini. “It’s not exactly mini, is it?” True. “BMW’s reinvented the Austin Maxi.” Harsh. “It looks like a fish in the supermarket.” Ouch. I can see why some would liken it to a hammour. The gaping grille and wide eyes that dominate the range have never really sat well with me ever since the Munich giant took over the brand. But like most things in life, you get used to it. Besides, being small wasn’t the reason we all fell in love with the original. It was more to do with the way it handled and the abundance of character it had.
If anything, its size wasn’t even its greatest asset. You could just about squeeze four adults into one. Even the pet dog had reservations about being taken for a ride. It wasn’t the most comfortable and its dimensions needed rectifying. And at a time when carmakers simply cannot make small cars anymore (on the contrary, they’re getting bigger — the next Fiat 500 is a case in point) to conform with safety regulations, you can forgive the current crop of Minis for not being mini. Still, with some trepidation, I took the new five-door Cooper S — a first for the new-new Mini — for a spin.
What’s taken them so long to make it? was my first query. It’s strange this doorier variant wasn’t launched years ago. After all, the small hatchback segment has been dominated by five-door models for years. This, then, isn’t exactly a revelation. But it sure is fun.
BMW has been busy diluting the range with lots of special editions when really, two extra doors on the hatch ought to have been added a long time ago. Still, it is better late than never and the newbie is intent on making up for lost time.
It’s a tad more practical, I’ll give it that. Previously, those sent to the back had to limber up and then clamber over the passenger seat and stumble in, but the extra doors make getting in and out a breeze. And, as with the three-door, this one also has plenty of leg and headroom in the front, but since the wheelbase has been stretched by 72mm (making it 161mm longer), rear legroom has grown by 70mm. That’s good news, but the reality is that six-footers still won’t be happy.
It also gains a third rear seatbelt so if you can find three stumpy friends, they’ll be buckled up and ready to enjoy that ‘go-kart’ ride. The boot is bigger, too (up to 278 litres, 67 litres more than the three-door), but you still can’t get a large suitcase in there unless you fold the rear seats over. In which case, large baggage will fit but your three passengers will have to follow in a taxi. Pack lightly.
Getting comfortable in the driver’s seat takes some doing. Firstly, finding the back rest recline lever requires a thin arm and a lot of patience. Two things I lack. It doesn’t help that the lever is blocked by the seat belt.
Then, you need to adjust the armrest; leave it down and your right elbow will forever smack against it. I suggest putting it up mostly so you can yank the handbrake up and attempt seriously cool parking manoeuvres, The Italian Job style (the front seats hold you tightly in place in corners), and secondly because your funny bone will thank you for it.
The dash used to have plenty of retro charm and it’s good to see the big round infotainment screen is still present along with those old-school toggle switches, however I’m not too sure what the seemingly random lights that illuminate around the screen signify, but I can live with a splash of colour. Deploy the starter button, which glows red the moment you jump in, and then prepare to wait a few seconds for the 2.0-litre four-pot to awake. Hot wiring it would be quicker.
Regardless, get going and the motor proves itself to be a smooth operator and thankfully, the extra doors and weight don’t deter from the now customary sporty ride.
Keeping up with traffic isn’t a problem and in Sport, you’ll be leaving them at the lights. It’s fun to throw about and changes direction like a fly buzzing over a plate of fries. Again, it feels nimble (it has single-joint spring strut front axle and multilink rear axle) and much like the three-door.
The six-speed automatic, sending 192 horses to the front, is snappy and always in the right gear, however there is a fair amount of torque steer to contend with. The paddle shifters add to the driving fun, while the steering is sharp and precise and wants you to attack the corners.
Since there’s lots of grip here, you’ll no doubt oblige. Go over the top and the generally unintrusive stability control will keep you safe. If not, then at least it’s comforting to know it has front, side and window airbags.
Curbing those fancy 16in wheels would be a shame, as would nicking the beautiful blue paintwork our tester came with (the bonnet stripes set it off nicely, but they’ll cost you).
In fact, go crazy on the spec sheet and you could have a head-up display, satellite-navigation, Bluetooth hands-free phone connection, a digital radio and a USB socket but you’ll need deep pockets for the extra bits and bobs.
If you wanted all the style, quality and quirkiness of a Mini but needed the practicality and space to go with it, your only option was the bloated Countryman.
Now, this more grown-up five-door hatch is here and although it’s bigger, deep down it’s still a cheeky little runabout. Nothing offers a sense of fun and character quite like this does, but you have to break the bank for the privilege.
This story first appeared on wheels in November 2014
