1.1159656-721441875
Even though it has permanent six-wheel drive, you can still get this G63 sideways. How cool is that? Image Credit: Supplied picture

“War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing,” sang Edwin Starr. I used to agree, until a blast in the desert with the seemingly bulletproof G63 AMG 6x6 convinced me otherwise. You read that right; a permanent six-wheel drive G-Wagen. No, this isn’t an early April Fool’s trick. Developed on the Australian army’s very own six-wheel G C320 CDI, this 6x6 is built not with generals or colonels in mind, but us civilians. Just how civil would we be in the Spinneys car park with one of these monsters? I’d guess armed with the 544bhp 5.5-litre AMG biturbo V8, boasting five differential locks, portal axles and a colossal weight of 3,850kg — not very. We’re bad enough with our F-150s and Hummers. This monstrous Mercedes will eat them and anything else standing in its way for breakfast.

I’ve been driven out deep into Al Maha desert resort, far away from prying eyes, on a top-secret mission to get a taste of the six-wheeler in action. During the journey, it’s been billed by Mathias Geisen, head of sales and product management G-Class, as the most awesome thing I’m ever likely to see. The excitement is growing exponentially as we approach a makeshift camp under the beating sun, but I’m feeling a little cynical. Has Mathias hyped it up a bit too much?

If anything, he could have done with exaggerating his claims more as I see the beast perched on top of a precariously tall dune. Cursing uncontrollably is my first reaction; I’m in utter disbelief at the incredible sight before me. It isn’t every day that you see a massive Merc wearing six 37in tyres and a huge stainless steel rollover bar in the back. I regain control of my tongue, my obscenities have, however, brought a wry smile to the other AMG dignitaries accompanying us. I have to behave but, fortunately, Mercedes G-Wagen test driver, Jorg, can be as bad as he likes behind the wheel of the 6x6. He’s been tasked to show me and a handful of scribes the prowess of this astonishing vehicle — meaning he can thrash it to within an inch of its life. Batten down the hatches!

I strap myself into the passenger seat while he lowers the tyre pressure, conveniently from within the luxurious cabin, courtesy of a pressure-control system. There are separate compressors for each tyre so that you can inflate and deflate for traction within seconds.

We’re ready to go and rather than work his way up some easier dunes, he points the nose directly at a mammoth 45-degree incline. The 6x6 screams over it as if it were driving on a smooth stretch of tarmac.

We tackle more ridiculous, slippery grades and all six huge wheels dig in, kick up sand high into the air, and it continues its rampage, proving to be unstoppable. There’s no incline too steep, no dune too deep and what’s more, after 45 minutes of the most aggressive desert bashing I’ve ever encountered — including a hair-raising moment when Jorg manages to get all six wheels off the ground — this thing isn’t even making the slightest of squeaks. It’s as tough as it looks and I bet a scud missile would only chip the paint. This is the ultimate dune basher, rock crawler and road warrior.

That it boasts a classy interior smothered in leather and carbon fibre and can accommodate four adults is a bonus, but the only talking point about this behemoth is its six-wheel-drive layout. I’m still trying to get my head around this when Jorg reveals more amazing details. “Eet haz a independent axle zuspension which meanz you alwayz have traction.” His mechanical, Austrian accent is just like Schwarzenegger’s. If the Terminator had a car, it’d be this one.

It’s got a locking centre diff between the conventional axles and another one between the second and third axles and power is split 30:40:30, but it employs just an extended version of the G63’s chassis, albeit stiffened up, and not something better suited for, I don’t know, combat?

It does, however, have a reinforced seven-speed MCT transmission. “Grrowund clearance is 460mm, wading depth 1,000mm.” Those numbers are impressive as is the 760Nm of torque. That’s not all; its approach angle goes from 16 to 52 degrees and the departure angle is enhanced by 27 to 54 degrees.

It’s as mad as a hatter — it even has a bamboo tray in the back.

Now, Jorg is a large man with chunky arms, but I notice him struggle to manoeuvre this 5,875mm long, 2,110mm wide and 2,280mm high machine running on Unimog-like wheels mounted on huge Öhlins dampers. It’s not a surprise really. It weighs a tonne (make that about four) and is about 1,200kg heavier than the regular G63. The track width is cartoon-like; the axles have been stretched by 281mm to 1,790mm while a set of carbon-fibre wheel arches try their best but fail to hide the girth. The wheelbase between the front and middle axle has grown by 300mm to 3,120mm while there’s another 1,100mm between the middle and the rear. But Jorg’s not about to let the 6x6 get the better of him and disappears in a thick cloud of dust following what must be the longest donut done on six wheels. The Merc reappears out of the smoke and he lets rip again. This time, I’ve jumped out to watch and I’m treated to a sight and sound that etches itself deep into the memory banks.
 
Many will say the 6x6 is ludicrous and building it is insane. Perhaps. One thing’s for sure; nothing will flatten the desert better than this. What’s war good for? Edwin, here’s your answer.