- 1. THE MOST HAIR-RAISING DISCOVERY
Goes to this senior envoy who got his marriage contract annulled by a Dubai Court in February after discovering his bride had facial hair. Because the woman wore a full veil throughout their courtship, the poor fella didn't discover the deception until he lifted her veil to kiss her on their wedding night The court annulled the marriage contract but rejected the envoy's $130,000 compensation claim to cover the cost of the wedding reception.
- 2. MOST LIVE-LY BAGGAGE
Bagged by a Saudi who, in a thankfully less dramatic version of the 2006 thriller film Snakes On A Plane, was caught at the Abu Dhabi airport earlier this month with a handbag containing four snakes, two parrots and a squirrel.
- 3. BEST MALE ACT
Not a hard choice. The award goes to Daad Murad Abdul Rahman of Ajman. The 64-year-old father of 88 children married an 18-year-old Indian girl in November, aiming to hit a century of offspring before 2015. His new bride is the super dad's 16th wife.
- 4. BIGGEST RUNAWAY HIT
Goes to Pakistani wicketkeeper Zulqarnain Haider who went missing from his room at Hotel Grand Hyatt ahead of a crucial cricket match against South Africa in November only to emerge in the UK. Haider's disappearing act badly hit the Pakistan Cricket Board which was already reeling under the spot fixing scandal.
- 5. GLASS APART
The handsdown winner in this category is this 30-year-old inmate at Hatta Police Station who broke the light bulbs of his cell in a fit of rage and then ate them as well. Needless to say, his glass act didn't go down well with the jury who sentenced him to two months in prison.
- 6. YOU HAVE GOT MALE
Goes to this Pakistani man who learnt that the Filipina woman he had been courting was actually a man. The sad part is that this startling discovery came not from his own findings but from a forensic examination in May following the ‘woman's' untimely death.
- 7. FINE ACHIEVEMENTS
Goes to a student who racked up Dh356,000 in traffic fines for over 400 outstanding driving tickets. Dubai police tracked down the speed demon in February and confiscated his SUV. The runners up award in this category goes to a Schumacher wannabe who accumulated fines of Dh42,000 within an hour on Shaikh Zayed Road after being caught by 12 radars.
- 8. BEST MAN FOR THE JOB
Goes to the XPRESS undercover reporter who was flooded with job offers in September after he sent out the most outrageous CV ever imaginable to placement agencies in the UAE. Despite declaring that he is a ‘dim-wit moron' who executes' perilous sales strategies' and ‘brings about a steady erosion of values and company ethics', several companies were ready to hire him. For a fee of Dh300, one placement agency even offered him a job of an elephant trainer in Canada.
- 9. LOOK WHO'S STALKING
Sharjah Municipality pipped Sharjah Electricity and Water Authority to the post to bag this award for keeping public parks closed till 4pm in order to prevent gardeners at work from staring at female visitors. "The municipality cannot accept the responsibility of having its employees staring at women and making them feel uncomfortable," said Sharjah Municipality Agricultural Department head Yaseen Mohammad.
- 10. MANNA FROM HEAVEN
Goes to this man from Chad who told an undercover Dubai cop he's friends with genies and can make them shower $25 million from the skies. He was busted when he asked the officer to give him Dh200 to tip the genie.
