Expressing love in different languages need not be limited to trying out variations of “I love you” and coming up with the standard Ti Amo or Je t’aime. Instead, a cursory look at words articulating relationships in different languages shows that no emotion is so alien or so unique that there is no word for it.
Ever looked across the room and felt that instant connection? Mamihlapinatapei, a word in Yaghan — one of the indigenous languages of Tierra del Fuego in South America — refers to the quiet yet meaningful look shared by two people waiting for the other to initiate something. The Japanese match it with koi no yokan, the inevitability of it all, or the sense upon first meeting someone that the two of you are going to fall in love.
Hopefully, it is not all in your head and it will lead to what the Norwegians call forelsket, meaning the euphoria of new love. If you are the expressive sort, you might be suffering from a case of gigil (pronounced gheegle), which is Tagalog for the urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute.
If you were Chinese, you would probably tell your friends about the yuanfen at work, which refers to a binding force that brings the two of you together, akin to Carl Jung’s concept of synchronicity.
At times like this, even the simple act of running your finger through his hair, or cafuné as it’s referred to in Brazilian Portuguese, can acquire extraordinary tenderness. No one does it better than a loved one, since, as the Greeks would say, it is done with meraki — putting something of yourself in what you are doing. Enough to make someone amadán do ghrá, or crazy in love, according to the Irish.
Extremes of love allow for extreme expression. Ya’aburnee, we are told, is what women say when they feel a lot of love for you. Designed to make a man’s heart swell, the Arabic word translates as ‘you bury me’,a declaration that she would like to die before the paramour.
True love, some say, is when you are comfortable enough to say anything. If you have enough nunchi, Korean for the subtle art of listening and gauging another’s mood, you may find out about the strange tendencies of your loved one. How would you feel, for instance, if he revealed that he was a physiggoomai, the ancient Greek term for someone excited by garlic?
If that puts you off, there are several variations of it’s-not-you that you can use to let them down gently. The Chinese, who talk about yuanfen, also say yǒu yuán wú fèn, meaning fate sans destiny, referring to couples who find each other, as if by fate, but do not, for some reason, stay together.
Still, the moral of the story is that it’s all worth it. Shí nián xiū dé tóng chuán dù, bǎi nián xiū dé gòng zhěn mián, a Chinese proverb marrying destiny with karma, says that it takes ten years of meditation/good deeds to bring two people to cross a river in the same ferry, and a 100 years to bring two people to rest their heads on the same pillow.
