Being an Oscar (Emmy, SAG and Golden Globe) winning goddaughter of Steven Spielberg and bestie of Cameron Diaz and Beyonce multi-millionairess who’s married to a rock star, we can only imagine that one sometimes finds oneself a tad out of touch with what the normals are up to.
So, it comes as no surprise that Gwyneth Paltrow has slowly been finding herself more and more out of touch with what the average person gets up to, and more and more in touch with her 22-carat-gold hairbrush with bristles made from starched unicorn mane.
And, when she surrounds herself with friends like the ever-socrawly Amanda De Cadenet, who recently cried on camera whilst telling Gwyn, “I’ve often looked at you and thought, ‘How do you know how to do this?’” then it’s no wonder that Gwyn is so far up herself that she’d need a map, compass, pack of sherpas and Prince William in a search-and-rescue helicopter to bring her back.
Scene picks through some of our favourite Paltrow-isms, so take note mortals, because the next time you find yourself in Paris with a wavering bikini line, staring down a Cup-a-Soup at Spinneys, or stuck for what to eat at a Japanese
monastery during a silent retreat, simply ask yourself WWGD? And you’ll be all set…
“I think the people who are criticising it or criticising the idea of it, don’t really get it, because if they did, they would like it..."
“We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden – a luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made.”
“Through this process [of writing a cookbook] my father and daughter had unwittingly taught me the importance of balance. Could I use some butter and cheese and eggs in my cooking without going down some kind of hippie shame spiral? Yes. Of course I could.”
On why you should log on to goop.com…
“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’"
“I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat – don’t ask, it’s a long story…”
“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 (Dh90,000) a year.”
“I’d rather smoke [hard drugs] than eat cheese from a tin.” As well as, “I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.”
On putting herself first…
“Taking care of yourself is being there for your kids, like how on a plane, they tell you to put on your oxygen mask first.”
On being based in the UK…
“I like living [there] because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilised than the Americans.”
“I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who’s trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There’s absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard.”
On where to stay in Paris…
“I always keep coming back to the Ritz. The place is just beautiful and the service is pretty flawless for France. Yes, it costs an arm and a leg, but it’s worth it.”
“I felt like I had a lot of really useful information that I was privileged enough to get, because I have this amazing, super, fortunate life.”
“We have great dinner parties, at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature – all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my god! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, ‘I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe’”
On a dinner party faux pas…
“One evening when I had my woodburning stove going I realised I hadn’t thought of dessert…”
“Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk The Line and think, ‘god, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status.”
On women who don’t work out…
“Every woman can make time [to work out] – every woman – and you can do it with your baby in the room. There have been countless times where
I’ve worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work.”
“One cold wintry day in London, I was dreaming about salad Niçoise – one of my favourites.” Plus, “I am obsessed with chopped salad.”
“I’m really ******* good at my job, and people who are interesting and good know that, and that’s all that matters.”
“When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”