At last, the mystery of why superlative supermodel Naomi Campbell throws such filthy tantrums has been solved.
Campbell may insist (as she told Oprah earlier this month) that she has a "type of emotional disorder — an abandonment issue", which leads her to lash out, but by the sounds of things she's so goddamned hungry all the time she'd have to be a saint to keep her composure — an empty tummy could make the best of us kick a pigeon or shoulderbarge a pensioner.
Three times a year, Campbell revealed, she goes on the maple syrup diet — which isn't so much a diet as self-flagellation minus the scourge. It involves drinking nothing but said syrup mixed with cayenne pepper, lemon juice and water.
Yes, it all suddenly makes sense. Campbell, who was once accused of hitting her assistant in the face with a BlackBerry phone, and was arrested by police after she allegedly spat at a police officer at Heathrow, was probably on one of her mad diets. If only she had stood up at her trial and confessed that her boyfriend commands her to forgo carbs, any lady who's got through to lunch on the Atkins' diet would have let her off with a voucher to Pizza Hut.
"If there is bread on the table, he's like, ‘don't eat bread'," she said, gazing at [oligarch Vladimir] Doronin, who smiled from the front row of the audience during the interview with Oprah.
Campbell needs to put the syrup away and embrace the bread basket. And for the rest of us, just thinking about not having to eat strawberry flavoured calf's liver (a Karl Lagerfeld diet secret) must lead to a greater love of bingo wings and muffin tops for they speak eloquently of cake and cream and all good things, of a life lived free of body fascism and the sort of self-hate that leads one to subsist on eggs alone.
Cheryl Cole
She eats according to her blood type. It's called the Eat Right 4 Your Type diet, which can only lead one to the conclusion that the pop princess's gullibility cells are as active as her thyroid.
Kirsten Dunst
The actress apparently follows a diet that consists of 70 per cent alkaline foods and 30 per cent acid.
Jennifer Aniston
She allegedly downed a glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice first thing every morning, but has now embarked on a new baby food diet.
Karl Lagerfeld
"It has to be a sort of punishment," reads the preface to a book detailing the fashion designer's diet tips. (Lagerfeld dropped pounds on a diet of horse meat, diet cola and recipes like calf's liver with wild strawberries). "You are a general and you have a single soldier in your army. You must give him instructions and he must carry them out. It may annoy him, but he has no choice."
Liz Hurley
She famously lived on a bowl of cabbage soup a day..
Megan Fox
This Hollywood starlet guzzles a cider vinegar cocktail, while popstar Fergie does it in shots.
Beyoncé
The singer-actress lost the equivalent of a small child in body weight for the film Dreamgirls by drinking maple syrup. She also drank laxative tea every night and a draught of lukewarm sea-salt water in the morning for the film.
