Exam time stress: Parents, don't panic! Here's how to keep your child calm and focused without losing your cool

For most children, nothing is a bigger trigger than the thought of exams. Parents are all too familiar with the frantic rush of last-minute cramming, the flipping of notes, and the late-night study sessions that stretch well into the early hours. But here's the thing: While children are under immense pressure, parents' stress can weigh just as heavily on their child's well-being and performance.

Stress is contagious—especially in a household where everyone is juggling work, responsibilities, and academic pressures. Parents, in their own anxiety, might unknowingly create an environment that exacerbates a child's anxiety. But by taking a few steps, you can steer this whirlwind of tension without adding to their child's mental load.

The silent affect of parental stress

 When parents are visibly anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed, children can internalise these emotions. The pressure feels magnified; the obstacles seem endless. And so, what seemed like even a simple mathematical sum can eventually cause sleepless nights.

Victoria Lauren, a child psychologist, explains, "No doubt, you also worry about your child’s future. And if they’re struggling with a subject, you’re anxious. Will they pass or fail? But you need to know, that each and every verbal and non-verbal cue, could translate into a sense of inadequacy for students, who are already battling their own issues.”

Recalling her own experience, she says that she was a ‘terrible’ student at mathematics. “I had failed most of the tests, and my parents were sure that I wouldn’t pass the examinations either. My mother made me study everyday for twelve hours, practising paper after paper, and didn’t let me leave my desk, unless it was for food. She kept emphasising, that I couldn’t afford to fail this test.” Lauren remembers how her own hands used to shake, and the several mental blocks she used to suffer. “Finally, my tutors had to tell her to calm down and that I wasn’t going to learn this way.”

The reality is, children are deeply attuned to their parents' emotional states. If a parent is tense or anxious, children can feel the worry, even when it’s not directly communicated. This can lead to heightened anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. And it’s not always about what’s said, sometimes it’s the unspoken signs: a tense expression, pacing, foot tapping, or a generally subdued atmosphere in the house, as Lauren points out.

The power of parental calm

So how can parents help create a calm, balanced atmosphere that supports their child’s well-being? It starts with managing their own stress, explain both Lauren and Dubai-based psychologist, Ramya Krishna.

 Recognising your own stress triggers

Understanding what triggers stress is the first step in managing it. Whether it’s feeling rushed to meet deadlines, worrying about your child’s grades, or simply the busy nature of daily life, identifying these triggers can help parents take proactive steps to alleviate stress before it spills over.

Start with stress-relieving techniques

Deep breathing and meditation are powerful tools for reducing anxiety. Even spending just 10 minutes a day practising relaxation can make a noticeable difference in how parents handle stressful situations. These moments of calm can then set the tone for the rest of the day, creating a more peaceful atmosphere at home.

Tip: Try the 4-7-8 method, where you inhale for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, and exhale for 8 counts.

Honest communication

While parents might worry about adding to their child’s stress by discussing their own worries, being open about feelings in a constructive way is far more healthy. “Let your children know that it is normal to be stressed, but also provide them strategies to deal with it,” explains Krishna.

This also models healthy emotional regulation, teaching children how to express and manage their own stress.

Create a structured routine

A little predictability always help. So, how about a consistent daily routine that includes designated study times, breaks meals and family activities? “ It provides a sense of stability and helps children focus on what they can control: Their preparation for exams,” says Krishna.

Encourage breaks and downtime

They need a break, don’t forget. Schedule short breaks, as that helps the brain process information more effectively and reduce fatigue. “Tell them to take a walk, or do some light stretching. Get them to enjoy a fun hobby as a form of recharge,” says Krishna.

Lead by example: Model self-care

Set an example, by relaxing, too. “Whether it’s exercising, reading, or just spending time outside, parents should remember that prioritizing their well-being sets a positive example for their kids,” says Lauren.

 The house needs some cheer

Dubai-based Kruttika Sen, a homemaker, gets extremely stressed during her child’s examinations. She struggles to keep calm, and panics, every time they go out to play a cricket game or two. “But my husband insists that they take regular breaks. He keeps calm, makes jokes, so that the children don’t stress much. In the end, they tell me to relax, as they want to study in a more cheerful atmosphere. So, I’m trying to work on that,” she says with a laugh.

Limit negative talk

Words have power, and when parents express stress or disappointment openly, children absorb that negativity. Instead, focus on positive, encouraging language. Offer reassuring words like, “I know you’ve been working hard,” or “We’re in this together.”