Communication is key to a strong family — expert

Dubai: Communication between a husband and wife or between family members is key to overcoming challenges, a family counsellor told a discussion group on Sunday.

Hessa Ahmad, writer and family counsellor, was heading the discussion which took place at Kuttab Cafe in Dubai on Sunday.

The event was organised by the Dubai Foundation for Women and Children (DFWC). Emirati intellectuals and writers were also present at the event held to mark the International Day of Families, which is held annually on May 15.

Hessa said whether it was a conflict between the husband and wife or between one of the parents, talking it out was the best solution.

She said the influx of foreign and Western values and thought was not all bad but that completely surrendering to it was.

“Lack of communication between the older and new generations, the parents and the children, and not passing down our own values can have a huge impact in the long run.”

By being a loving parent, she said, children will involuntarily take on their values and beliefs, but if parents have barriers between them and their children and do not communicate, and then try to force their values on their children, it will not work and will create conflict between them.

She added the concept of family counselling was still frowned on in the Arab world and this should change as it can help reduce divorce rates, which have risen dramatically over the past few years.

“In the Arab world family counselling is the last resort, but in the West it is for the prevention of further problems. Arabs go to a family counsellor when it’s too late and it is almost useless, we try to save what little can be saved.”

Ganima Al Bahri, acting care and rehab director at DFWC, said that another problem was that most councillors were unqualified to do their job.

Hessa said that people wanting to get married should be educated about what marriage really is, because most people had unrealistic expectations. She said this could be done in schools.

Anas Bukhash, chief operations officer of the UAE Professional League, said it would be very useful if there was a course taught at university level — at least once a month — about marriage and also how to fix things around the house.

“It would be more useful to the students than a lot of the things they get to learn in university.”

He added that the new generation had no patience and were very spoiled so whenever they faced a minor problem or obstacle in a relationship, they wanted out.