Give your child full attention

We recently completed five successful weeks of the Parent Support group for parents of children with attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD).

It has been both a pleasant and overwhelming experience.

The distress and challenge that some of the parents have gone through in trying to do their best to successfully parent their child are poignant.

I have been as enlightened as the parents who attend the group on what the challenges are when parenting hyperactive children and also techniques that have worked in helping them cope.

Guilt, frustration, hopelessness and fear are only a few of the emotions that the parents said they experienced in their efforts to bring up their child in the most successful manner possible.

Accept the challenges

The one underlying fact to bear in mind when parenting children with ADHD is to recognise that these are not difficult children BUT children with difficulties.

The first step toward helping your child and yourself is accepting the child's challenges rather than maintain a state of denial.

Working with children with ADHD starts at the moment you give a directive to the child.

Pointers like eye contact, being in close proximity to the child and using the child's name need to be kept in mind when trying to get the child to follow instructions.

Other techniques that parents have found helpful in supporting their children include:

 - Keep your directions simple and easy to understand. Also, break down the tasks into more manageable segments.

 - Use effective behaviour management techniques like withdrawal of privileges or positive reinforcement (i.e. rewarding the child for following through) in order to help the child follow rules. Also remember behaviour plans do not work overnight and also need to be reviewed and changed from time to time in order to provide variety.

 - Ensure that consequences are provided immediately and consistently, so that the child grasps the seriousness of the programme.

 - Make sure that your expectations complement the child's abilities and knowledge of the task.

 - Putting up charts of the child's duties helps the child to keep track of what he is expected to do during the day.

 - Since children with ADHD have issues with time management, help put up a timetable of the routines the child needs to complete in the day. Also, providing variety in their schedule will help them follow through better.

 - Help your children get organised. Having folders in various colours for different subjects has proved helpful. Also, having a chart of all belongings to tick off at the start and end of the day helps ensure that nothing gets lost.

 - Often children with ADHD forget to give parents important school related information. An effective home-school programme will help resolve this issue.

 - Reduce the distractions that a child has to block out, especially when trying to complete a task that requires concentration. Children with ADHD have a hard time trying to filter out distractions.
 
 - When scheduling study time put in frequent breaks for the child that involve physical movement.

 - Children with ADHD have often been found to have low self-esteem, a fact that has been repeatedly presented by a majority of parents in the group. It is important that you try to help the child feel good about himself. Focusing on the child's positive aspects and achievements along with providing him with opportunities to engage in activities in which he can experience success will go a long way to aiding this process.

 - Another major concern that is expressed by parents is the difficulty children with ADHD have in developing and maintaining social relationships. Try involving your child in smaller groups (2-3 peers). Also, teaching him self-control techniques like (stop-think-do) and conflict resolution methods will help your child with his peer relations.

Patience is the key

Parenting children with ADHD requires ounces of patience.

In this time when parenting itself is a challenge, being able to successfully parent a child with special needs can be exasperating.

Don't forget to take care of yourself. You cannot adequately take care of your children if you are falling apart.

Take time to relax, meet friends, join a support group or whatever else will help you face the trials of parenting.

The writer is a DOH, Dubai and US certified guidance counsellor with an M.Ed degree in school counselling from Boston, USA. She is currently working as co-ordinator - counselling services, GEMS, UAE.