Are you at the mercy of your work status?

What does your job mean to you? Is it a necessity for living, your status symbol, your way of living, or your ambition in life? The definition of work differs from person to person, and so does the impact it has on a person's life.

For many, job status or position dictates their behaviour in society. An individual with a high job profile is expected to behave and follow certain norms of society, which may not be as important for an individual working at lower grades.

Given time, work can become your ultimate identity wherein your social life and lifestyle are all influenced by your working status. "People introduce themselves with their job titles," says Priya Kumar, a certified firewalk instructor, NLP trainer and motivational speaker. "No one says, Hi 'I'm Sam, the father of Peter, husband of Sandra…' Instead, they might say 'Hi, I'm Sam, general manager of ... company.'

"For this individual, life seems to revolve around his job. Family life, personal life, social life – that's all secondary. Professional life is of primary importance because living depends upon it: social, financial and personal security depends upon it," she says.

This trend in modern society puts people at the mercy of their work status – any uncertainty in their career progress is a cause for concern and the loss of a job can be cataclysmic.

With the changing times, rising competition, economic pressures and layoffs at major companies, maintaining career stability – and by association, identity stability – is not only challenging for individuals but a big cause for concern.

The end of a job can mean more than the loss of their means of living, but their way of living too. Losing a job doesn't only mean facing a financial decline; it's a serious blow to the ego that can be even more difficult to face. A sudden dismissal from a job can become a very emotionally harmful period in life.

The HR manager

"Job status has a definite impact on a person's identity, personality and personal life. A person entrusted with responsibility and decision-making powers tends to modify his personality and become a more confident and assertive individual, though he may not be the same in his personal life," says Prabhu Dharmarajan, HR manager at Dulsco LLC, Dubai.

"Your job may be confined to your office or it may be your life. It depends on an individual's interest in both career and life," he continues. "Generally speaking, a person who owns a business may tend to blur the line between office and home.

A business-oriented person's mind is always on profits and development. They tend to take their career as their life as they have a larger responsibility to their investors, customers and employees. On the other hand, a person employed in an organisation tends to confine work to the office.

Personally, I feel a job should be confined to the office."

The business owner

Marion Beekhuizen, managing director of a consultancy company in the hospitality industry, says, "I've met many people who think that having a certain job makes them acceptable, important or gives them an excuse to have an attitude.

"Somewhere down the road, no matter where you work and what you do, you eventually realise that it doesn't really makes a difference to who you are. Actions speak louder than words, and you cannot hide behind a 'successful' job. No matter what job or role you play in life, people will like you because you have the ability to give."

On the question of retrenchment, she says, "I can imagine that if something were to happen and there were financial consequences it would certainly affect my mental status! We have our own company and sometimes that does not make me a happy person – although 80 per cent of the time I am sure we have made the right choice."

The career adviser

Sora S. Tacio, student services coordinator at the University of Wollongong in Dubai, says, "Job status can become an identity for some. Some people even have two identities: one
in their job circle and another in the real world. In the corporate world, you'll find people whose identity is so integral to their job that it's like a package to be carried around and it even affects their families."

"I heard a true story a few days ago about a lady cleaner in the UK. She had just won £1 million in the lottery and she didn't believe it and wasn't able to sleep for three days. She decided that she would continue to work as a cleaner. My point is her job status is not her identity and although being a millionaire will give her a new profile, it's not her identity either.

A person's identity is in their way of being, and it's not determined by the profile that they do or don't fall under."

Coping with job loss

With careers being such an important ingredient in people's lives, when circumstances dictate that one must give up one's job – willingly or unwillingly – it becomes a time of despair.

"The key to coping with any kind of loss is to move on," says Priya Sridharan, organisational consultant at Dubai Herbal and Treatment Centre.

"It's no real loss; we live in the era of abundant opportunities! Don't allow yourself a break time after losing your job. Immediately apply to a placement agency, or get references from colleagues and friends. Being honest about the situation will get you another job much faster than avoiding the situation," she says.

"The world belongs to those who constantly upgrade themselves, in terms of attitude and skill," she continues. "Allow your letter of termination to be an opportunity to fill in the gaps and use the transition time between jobs to learn a new skill. A lot of online courses and crash courses are available at affordable prices. Make learning an attitude and you will find yourself climbing higher faster.

"Of course, your job loss will affect your family too. But it's important for them to know that with the right attitude and frame of mind, they can help you shorten your comeback time. They should view the loss as temporary and support you emotionally.

"The entire family must be involved in the solution process. The family can support you in job-hunting by giving their love and support. This is an excellent time for the family to bond," notes Priya.

Impact on health

Dr Melanie Schlatter, PhD, is a health psychologist at the Human Relations Institute in Dubai. "Losing a job not only affects income and routine," she warns, "it generally makes people feel shocked, scared about their future, betrayed, sad, stigmatised, guilty, angry, or in denial. These reactions may manifest at psychological, behavioural and cognitive levels.

"For example, it may result in an inability to relax or concentrate, memory problems, excessive lateness, impatience, irritability or loss of temper and arguing, exaggerated or aggressive hand gestures (pointing, fists), use of sarcasm or hostile language, uncontrollable crying or emotional outbursts, over or under extending oneself, impulsive behaviour, feeling uptight, nervous laughter or obsessive thoughts.

"When you lose a job, not only is your overall quality of life threatened, but research indicates that there is often an associated rise in health-related risk factors such as sudden over- or under-eating, increased use of tobacco, alcohol or over-the-counter pain medications, and a lack of sleep or exercise due to anxiety or depression.

Workers nearing retirement may also be more predisposed to cardiovascular problems due to the associated anxiety," explains Dr Schlatter.

"There are many physical indicators of anxiety, depression and burnout. Some of these include sudden weight gain or weight loss, a rapid heart beat, numbness in extremities, nervous tics, skin rashes, allergies, shortness of breath, tightness in throat, headaches, migraines, increased perspiration (sweaty palms), grinding of teeth, pain or tightness in neck and or shoulders, nightmares, fatigue, dryness of the throat or mouth, frequent colds or illnesses and dizziness," she adds.

Stress levels may also differ between men and women and according to their situation and status. Dr Schlatter explains, "Men are more likely to define themselves through their work, therefore job loss threatens their perceived role as breadwinner and key provider. They may feel an underlying resentment or jealousy towards a wife who continues to work. "Women's reactions are based strongly on their relationships with their family and work.

For instance, those who value their role at work more than at home may have difficulty adjusting in the short term, particularly if their income provided significantly for the family; those who have a strong maternal identity, or whose incomes were viewed as supplementing their husbands' income, may be less emotionally stressed.

"Unmarried individuals are a group that may experience a higher rate of psychological and physical occurrences because there is less psychological and financial support to fall back on," she adds.

"Then again, for some people, losing their job may provide them with a sense of relief. It is an end to their anguish, dread or stress, which they may have been feeling each day of work. For instance, they may be relieved that they don't have to put up with a negative or temperamental boss and so forth. Therefore, job loss is not always a bad thing for everyone.

"It's important to develop a stress management action plan which adequately addresses and incorporates your situation. To begin with, a well balanced diet with plenty of natural foods, fruits and veggies, high quality proteins and complex carbohydrates, and water, as opposed to processed, refined, and artificially flavoured and coloured foods or high caffeine intake; sufficient and restful sleep; daily exercise; spirituality or mindfulness programmes; sensible time management which includes time for hobbies and relaxation and attention
to any psychological health issues.

If you feel overwhelmed or unsure where to turn or what to do next, enlist the help of a professional.

"Try to look at your job loss as an opportunity for a more favourable future. What can be learned from that situation? Think about the negative aspects of the job – there are probably some aspects of it that you are glad to have behind you," she explains.

How it affects the family

Family is an integral part of everyone's life and they have their share of emotions too when any member of their family is facing adversities. "When a person loses his job, the emotional shock affects the whole family," agrees Dr Schlatter.

"In particular, trying to explain the loss of a job to children can be very difficult, especially if they are young, and when the very definition of a job is unclear. Often these children may be pleased that the parent is now going to be staying at home to spend more time with them.

"If children are older however, they realise that money may become a problematic issue, so these children might worry about what the family now can and can't afford, or whether they will be cared for to the same extent."

"For children generally, the most distressing aspect of a parent losing a job is the realisation that the parents are also emotionally affected. When they see their parents stressed or frustrated or sad, it can compromise their sense of security. They may also blame themselves.

They may show regressive behaviour such as clinginess, whining, being irritable towards friends or interacting less with them than usual, a loss of appetite, sleep problems or nightmares, a drop in grades at school, or a return to formally eliminated habits like thumb sucking. If uncharacteristic behaviour persists for more than a few weeks, you should seek external help.

"Older children may show their stress or confusion in more destructive or unacceptable ways – mood swings, staying out late and ignoring curfews or requests for help in the house.

"Job loss can be handled with minimum stress on the children. Children are generally resilient to situations of this nature and can adjust favourably in the long term, as long as they are involved from the outset. If your child is mature enough, always be honest with them about the job loss. Obviously you don't have to tell them all the details, but children are very intuitive when it comes to sensing there is a problem.

"Don't be afraid to explain that mom and dad may not have as much money right now.

"Maintain household routines – once again, this keeps their sense of stability and security normalised.

If money is seriously an issue, make careful decisions about what is currently essential and not so essential to the well-being of the family. For instance, it may be better to continue with weekly routines such as music or sports lessons, and forgo a holiday.
"Spend a little extra 'quality time' with your children; talk to them about how they are feeling, and involve them as much as possible. Their happiness at being involved will inevitably cheer you up also.

"Be careful to express your emotions appropriately in front of the children. A little sadness is okay; an extreme anger outburst is not as this will only make the children more likely to act out or become confused.

"The experience can also teach children an excellent life lesson that life's path is not always smooth and predictable, but that a supportive and loving family can always do their best to overcome all hardships.

"Children will often want to try and help 'remedy' the situation, so let them help around the house (making their bed so mum stays happy) or get them to brainstorm ways of saving a few extra dirhams; but don't let them overburden themselves with self-imposed responsibility," says Dr Schlatter.

Taking back control

Being disheartened in a job loss situation is normal, but your attitude will give you the control of your future and your new insight may give you many new openings.

Priya says, "Losing a job affects a person in all areas of life. Besides being financially draining for the individual and the family, it causes strain on relationships within the circle. An obvious effect of losing a job is the impact on a person's self-esteem, motivation, and emotional and psychological status.

"A person can begin to think and feel that he is unworthy and does not have the potential he once thought he had. An individual's sense of identity can be closely related to the work he does, and when the job is taken away for any reason this can lead to a loss of who he perceives himself to be.

"Added to this is the response they receive from those around them who are now uncertain of how to interact with the individual. People can often lose their social network along with their job and this may leave them lonely and overwhelmed, feeling that they are without any form of support and/or help. This is especially so for those expatriates who live outside their home countries without family," she adds.

This phase of life is hard to accept and feelings of the individual cannot be sugar-coated. Staying positive in the presence of all the negatives isn't easy, but taking the situation like any other calamitous event is a mantra which may lead you to new growth openings. You may go through several stages, says Priya. She says,

"Any loss affects an individual on an emotional and psychological level. The person goes through certain stages in his response to the loss as a way of managing his response.
These stages include:
Shock: "No!"
Denial: "I just don't believe it."
Anger: "It isn't fair!"
Bargaining: "Well, if I do this then maybe I can change the situation."
Grieving: "I feel so sad about what I've lost. Remember the good times?"
Acceptance: "Okay, this happened, but it's time to move on."

"These stages allow the individual to come to a state of acceptance and strength to be able to manage the situation in a healthy way. People can fluctuate between stages in the cycle, going back and forth until they have resolved their issues. The grieving stage can sometimes take the longest. In some cases individuals may even act out and show aggressive behaviour at this point," she says.

"Support and let the individual understand that he is still an integral and valuable part of the family. Spouses/partners should be sure to let the person know that he continues to deserve the same respect and play a vital role in the make up of the family dynamic. Any feelings of anger, guilt and shame should be freely expressed and talked through.

"If any of the negative responses get extreme, it's important that the family seek outside support and counselling to resolve the concerns, fears and issues they have. Family members should allow themselves to express their fears, while listening and paying attention to others.

Children should be kept informed, especially if they are of an age where they fully understand the situation. If they have fears, let them voice their concerns and address the same. And no matter what age they are they need to be reassured that the loss of income is not their fault," she says.

No one is denying that the loss of the job can be a crippling experience. However, it needn't be the end of the world. With adequate support and time to reflect, you may come to see things from a new perspective. After all, whenever one door closes, another door opens.