There is always a snag. The cabinet shows up in the wrong size. The plumber is delayed at another job. The inspector fails to appear on the appointed day.

Even under the best of circumstances, remodelling inevitably turns into an emotional rollercoaster with so many highs and lows that it can take weeks for homeowners to recover mentally from major construction, building experts said.

Emotional rebuilding

"Sometimes, it's not until two or three months later, when the homeowner is sitting in their new sunlit room with a breeze blowing through, that they finally say, ‘I'm glad I did this,'" said David Lupberger, a building consultant and author of Managing the Emotional Homeowner.

Putting finances aside, the angst of remodelling typically is rooted in not knowing what to expect next.

As some builders readily admit, contractors are not by nature a communicative bunch.

They are trained to work with their hands, not hold hands.

That helps explain why many fail to brace their clients for the ride ahead, Lupberger said.

That ride goes something like this: Homeowner decides to build. Excitement soars. Budget and wish list do not mesh. Excitement wanes. Construction begins; frame takes shape. Excitement hits high.

From then until the project is done is usually the longest downhill run. That is when the plumbers, electricians and other contractors do their thing, said Tim Burch Jr, president of Burch Builders Group in Warrenton, Virginia, US.

The disruption of time and space can take a toll on a homeowner's psyche, said Clare Cooper Marcus, author of House as a Mirror of Self.

So, it is no wonder that messing with the setup can be a tortured experience, giving rise to tension between homeowners and their contractors - and among the homeowners themselves, she said.

A team work

Matt Frumin said he and his wife, Lena, kept conflicts at a minimum through ‘division of labour' when they started remodelling their Washington home nearly two years ago.

The couple hired an architect (who was also a neighbour and friend) to design additions to the front and back of the house, a new kitchen and changes to the flow of the house that required knocking down walls.

The Frumins then decided on a contracting team that came well recommended by friends and was, in his words, "a pleasure to have around" even though the project moved in fits and starts.

Finding the right person is just as important as finding the right price, if not more so, said Bob Benedict, president of Northwood Construction in Sterling, US. "A lot of people think price is the overall champion," he said.

Given all the moving parts, it is important for owners to insist on putting as much as possible in writing from the start, said Lupberger, who also works with ServiceMagic, an online contractor referral company based in Golden, Colorado, US.

For instance, be specific about what finishes and trims will be used. Push the contractor to provide a selection sheet and make the choices as far in advance as possible to avoid back orders later on. That helps alleviate one of the most common consumer gripes about remodelling jobs: busted deadlines.

To keep a project on track, homeowners should insist on meeting the contractor on a regular basis, he said.

Homeowners and their contractors can go a step further by keeping an on-site job book in which the owner can jot down questions or concerns that the crew should address the next day, he said.

"Organisation is everything," Lupberger said. "You're making hundreds of selections and decisions, and if this is not done in an organised fashion, you will be overwhelmed and your budget is going to be all over the board."

By Dina ElBoghdady, Los Angeles Times-Washington Post News Service

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