Boys will be boys, and I am a feminist. However, I am not the typical “protesting outside of beauty contests kind of feminist”. According to me, those are not feminists, they have an agenda and whatever that might be, gender equality is not it. If anything they go against everything feminism stands for.
However, I strongly believe that instead of bridging the gender gap, we are widening it. Causes have become agendas, women’s liberation has become male bashing in the name of equality. It angers me when another woman is subjected to atrocities, domestic violence and rape. However, along with being a woman, I am a mother too, and having a son doesn’t mean I worry any less. Yes, men are victims of violence too. Just because he’s not a girl doesn’t mean he doesn’t run the risk of been violated. Just because he has a Y chromosome doesn’t imply lack of sensitivity — he is very sensitive. If I was to generalise all the boys I have known that are his age, they are sensitive and complete sweethearts. They are just as caring as your little girl is. They might be a little short sighted but they make up for it with their big hearts and are quick to forget and forgive but instead of celebrating this beautiful side, we take it as a sign of weakness.
Those boys grow up to be men and are labelled “insensitive”, declared predators the minute they find themselves alone in an elevator with a girl. They fall in love and will bear the burden of romance. The flowers, gifts, dates, holidays, ring and proposal. They do it for the girl they want to spend the rest of their lives with — but where is the equality here? Why can’t a woman pay the bills and hold the door open for a change?
They then get married and have children, while the women are confined to the house and children. In turn, the mother can’t go out on a girl’s night because the father is working late. She makes sacrifices yes, but so does he. He works hard to make sure there is nothing amiss in bringing up their children and on the odd day that he does stay home, we call it “baby sitting”. Watching over your own children is not baby sitting, it is parenting but society is tuned into believing that it is a woman’s job and that’s a real shame.
I am a feminist. I believe in equality and women are not inferior, nor are we superior. It is as much of your daughter’s responsibility as it is my son’s.
— The reader is based in Dubai
