Career over marriage: Readers debate whether it is a wise choice

The latest numbers show that there are more singles in their 30s in the UAE than ever before. People are choosing to establish their careers before thinking of marriage. But is a career-first approach the right one? Gulf News readers debate. Join the discussion by logging on to our Facebook page or write to us at readers@gulfnews.com

  • Your decision to get married should not depend on if you have a successful career or not. These thing should j Image Credit: Supplied
  • Sydney Atkins is an English language teacher living in Dubai Image Credit: Supplied
  • I am living the single life, too. Successful people create a successful marriage because they are career-orien Image Credit: Supplied
  • Samer Al Kassar is a technical consultant working in Dubai. Image Credit: Supplied
  • Maheen Abbas is an HR professional living in Abu Dhabi Image Credit: Supplied
  • Lodhi Azmat Allah is a secretary working in Dubai Image Credit: Supplied
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12:07 Gulf News: Successful people make for more equal partners in marriage.

12:09 Sydney Atkins: Absolutely! I think while the idea of marriage is a highly personal one, the dynamics that govern it have undergone transformation over the years. Today, many young people cannot afford to get married! There are several things to consider before you tie the knot these days. The world is changing and there is an unprecedented emphasis on careers. Nobody wants to marry someone who isn’t successful or without a stable job. I’m not saying all successful people make good spouses. I’m saying professional success is a criteria that is crucial to consider before marriage these days.

12:14 Samer: I’m definitely for the statement, as equal partners make life more reasonable.

12:15 Lodhi Azmatullah: Keeping in view the expenses all over the world today, to maintain a good standard of living one has to choose an earning partner as a single person cannot afford the living standards. So, mostly people choose to marry equal partners so that they can have each other’s support and live happily.

12:16 Maheen Abbas: We seem to have propogated this myth that men and women can’t get along in a married life if both are working. I know of so many couples, in my friend and family circle, who are actually more campatible and sucessful and their children are actually stronger and more well-mannered as both parents are more aware of the world and can guide their children better.

12:21 Samer Al Kassar: I have experienced this myself — as we get older our goals change with time, and mostly our career defines our life choices.

12:22 Sydney Atkins: But more than all of this, I think people in their 20’s are still discovering who they are! I know I am! And I may turn out to be so different than I presently am. I don’t think it is wise, therefore, to marry young. How a person is now can change dramatically in the course of a few years, and these changes don’t always contribute to healthy marriages. People today need time to themselves — to work, to travel and to know who they’d like for a spouse. Professional success is crucial to all of this!

12:31 Gulf News: A good personal life makes a successful worker, not the other way around.

12:32 Maheen Abbas: Yes, I believe you always need someone to share your sorrows, grief and definetly your happy times with. So, we must get a chance to build a happy personal life. The ups and downs of life can always be managed better when you have a partner to share the experiences and results with.

12:35 Lodhi Azmatullah: If at the professional level one is not successful, his married life also gets disturbed. He is always worried and stressed out at home, too. When his basic needs and ambitions don’t get fulfilled, he gets more worried. On the other hand, if you have a partner who understands and shares your feelings, definitely it makes a big difference. The moral support makes him happy.

12:36 Sydney Atkins: I know people who have a thriving personal life compared to mine but at work they’re incompetent and contribute little or nothing. Sure, I have to make sacrifices personally but I guess it comes down to one’s own work ethic and priorities. On weekends, for example. I do no work. I read, meet friends and have a ball. That takes a backseat during the week and I find that’s a healthy enough balance for me.

12:38 Maheen Abbas: Well, if you have a good understanding and balance, once you reach your mid-twenties, it’s the perfect time for you to get the supporter, admirer, critic and developer in your life. So, I would not support waiting till your thirties. There is no limit to success, right? I might never consider myself successful till I become the CEO of a company. So, why wait till later in life?

12:42 Samer Al Kassar: Well, you can have a very good personal life as well, even when you are single. But I’m sure if you do find the right partner at any point of your life, that would help your career as well.

12:43 Sydney Atkins: Measuring happiness is a tricky business, so if you can find a marriage option that’s going to work and you’re in your early 20s, take it. The trouble, I think, is that people are not finding those options as easily these days. I personally feel successful people make stable and secure partners and are capable of bringing so much more understanding to a relationship.

12:50 Maheen Abbas: I feel I am living this statement — a good personal life makes a successful worker, not the other way around.

- Compiled by Huda Tabrez/Community Web Editor

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