16:49 Gulf News: Using a white lie to save a relationship is acceptable
16:51 Afra Atiq: I agree because the entire concept of a white lie is the emphasis on it being white - as in not harmful. As long as it is not harming anyone and the relationship is actually being saved, where is the problem? Many argue that it is a breach of trust, but trust can also be breached with brutal truth and harsh honesty that may hurt a relationship, rather than saving it.
16:52 Arber Baci: I disagree. However, it may also depend on what the lie is about. Overall, you shouldn’t intend to lie, instead, be honest in your relationship and if your partner does not accept it, you have to stand up for yourself.
16:53 Ramachandran Nair: I agree but it depends on the situation and how strong the relationship is. The critical aspect is the understanding of two individuals and how they behave and adjust with each other. A ‘white lie’ does not necessarily intend to tarnish someone’s character, but to save the relationship.
16:53 Kristine Santos Odi: I agree because when my sister was pregnant she became fat and whenever she asked her husband “How do I look?” he would reply with: “You are the most beautiful mom-to-be in the world.” Their days went by like that and my sister had a health pregnancy; however, imagine if her husband replied differently, she would have packed her bags and left.
16:57 Arber Baci: If the purpose is to protect a fellow human being, then it is acceptable.
16:57 Afra Atiq: Love makes you do things that under any other circumstances would be seen as unethical. I think the idea of saving a relationship balances out the fact that a white lie can be considered dishonest. In the end, it all comes down to the intention, and if the white lie will become a common practice and develop into something more serious such as pathological lying.
16:58 Gulf News: Absolute honesty is never appreciated
16:59 Ramachandran Nair: Absolute honesty is unbelievable for some people; hence, it is not appreciated. To me, trust is the key factor, whereas for some, absolute honesty leads to doubtful situations and due to this, the question of appreciation never arises.
17:04 Sarah Nuruddin: I agree. Recently, my boss asked me to comment on his new tie, which was absolutely hideous. I gave it a thought and replied: “It’s okay.” If, however, I would have said the truth, my job would have been taken away from me. Was I scared? No. I was just being diplomatic. Diplomacy, if non-existing, would have led to the end of the world. It is essential to have people skills (skills to know when to lie and by how much) to grow in life. Absolute honesty, if practiced, will lead to arguments, resentment and finally the person ending up losing every one. No one likes to be around a person who is always honest. Certainly so, no organization would hire them. No firm would like its employee to reveal the pricing details just because it would hurt his morals. Hence, in today’s world, lies have become an essential part of the job description. Be it for employment or the job of living life.
17:04 Kristine Santos Odi: For an honest person like me, I appreciate absolute honesty. It depends on your partner and whether or not he or she would understand all your flaws. After all, who doesn’t appreciate an honest relationship? It depends on the degree or level of dishonesty, therefore, the two should agree on it in the beginning of the relationship.
17:07 Afra Atiq: I dwell on Kantian philosophy here and for instance, absolute honesty not only applies to our own personal relationships but also to ourselves as relative to society. If you are hiding from someone intending to murder you and a random person saw you and knew you were you were hiding, if the murderer then told the random person they were going to kill you and asked if they had seen you, absolute honesty would bind the random person into telling them. Absolute honesty means being honest no matter what the cost. Whether this is ethical is another question but one can see Kant’s point.
17:07 Kristine Santos Odi: Sometimes when you tell the truth, everybody gets mad at you but after the emotions run down, people realise that honesty is better than hearing a lie.
17:07 Sarah Nuruddin: I don’t think a white lie reflects on the honesty of that particular individual. Just because a person tells a lie or two doesn’t mean that the person is dishonest. We are talking about a white lie, which by definition is a “trivial lie said to prevent hurting someone.”
17:08 Gulf News: Human beings lie instinctively, so it’s pointless to expect total honesty
17:10 Ramachandran Nair: Certain situations force people to be different and divert from reality. I believe that the return of honesty should be genuine and needs some kind of recognition and understanding.
17:10 Afra Atiq: I think it is pointless to expect total honesty because there is no such thing as perfect honesty. You know you are being honest, but can the other person ever truly know that and know your intentions, too?
17:11 Kristine Santos Odi: Everybody is a liar because white lies also constitute dishonesty. It is a talent that all humans are capable of.
17:12 Afra Atiq: Studies have shown that lying can be the result of behavior and teaching, therefore, claiming that lying is instinctive has not been definitively proven.
17:13 Kristine Santos Odi: If a person says “Sorry”, your instinct tells you to say “It’s okay.” However, in most circumstances, you say you’re okay when in fact you are not. You even lie to yourself most of the time.
17:13 Arber Baci: Women are the best liars in the world and that’s why men control the world and take major decisions.
17:14 Ramachandran Nair: There is nothing such as total honesty; instead, this has to be created and accepted by people around.
17:15 Gulf News: A lie is a lie, black or white
17:20 Afra Atiq: According to a poll by BBC, researchers found that the average British man tells three lies every day as compared to the average woman who lies twice a day. This is not accurate data 100% but it is incredibly insightful.
17:23 Kristine Santos Odi: A lie is a lie. We are only human and we have to accept that we lie and it is wrong.
17:23 Afra Atiq: I disagree as not all lies were thought up equally. It depends on the intention and its consequences. A lie such as “that dress doesn’t make you look fat” to spare someone’s feelings is not the same as lying under oath in court and denying witnessing a crime.
17:25 Ramachandran Nair: Yes, a lie is a lie, but it needs to be classified in order to show its effect and consequences.
— Compiled by Donia Jenabzadeh/She is a trainee with Gulf News
