How should one draw the line when it comes to acceptable social behaviour?
Megha Tony
Social etiquette has taken a backseat, probably because teenagers feel it is old-fashioned. When we are in society we should make sure that whatever we do is acceptable. For example, currently we are living in an [Islamic] society, so wearing clothes that are revealing is not acceptable, as social etiquette needs to be maintained according to where we are, not what is acceptable to us.
Mathew Litty
It has got to do with your attitude, you need to get along with people. I see neighbours or people in the community who are extremely rude to each other, there is no [sense of] control.
Sunil Roy
Social etiquette is self-imposed. My freedom stops where your nose begins.
Sandhya Shetty
You see people on TV receiving awards and chewing gum! When people watch you live on television they are actually trying to ape you, so when celebrities follow norms that are socially unacceptable, why wouldn't children follow them?
Lavanya Malhotra
I don't think that we should put the blame completely on celebrities; however I think that television and movies are much more accessible to teenagers nowadays and celebrities do have a responsibility but everybody has to try [to maintain social etiquette].
Sophy Aqeel
Yes, it all depends on how we take it. We are all educated and know the dos and don'ts of society and that is what we need to teach children as well.
Kehkashan Basu
If people are rude, others will stop communicating with them. If you want them to be nice to you, you have to be nice to them.
Megha Tony
You are supposed to be nice to everyone, even those who are rude. Not because they're nice, but because you are.
Is freedom of expression creating a ruder society?
Sophy Aqeel
People are definitely abusing this freedom. They are doing things that are unacceptable to society. Everything has a limit and I think we should just follow the concept of ‘live and let live'.
Lavanya Malhotra
I think that sometimes you should just hold back, even if you think of something you don't just have to say it because it might hurt the other person.
Sandhya Shetty
I recently read an article on M.F. Hussain, the renowned Indian artist, who had drawn the painting of an Indian deity in the nude, which was unacceptable. Today, Mr Hussain has been granted asylum in Qatar, and in an interview he said that this place has given him every freedom, but of course he can't draw a woman in nude. This means that he knows that he misused the freedom of expression that was given to him. So when you do have the freedom, use it, do not abuse it.
Sunil Roy
Most people think that if you use abusive language you will be able to assert yourself or dominate. So it gives them a sense of superiority, rather a superiority complex. But you cannot always get away with it. The other thing is that when my freedom violates your security, it should stop.
Megha Tony
When people get to know that they're better than others in terms of money or in any other way, they do behave rudely. Even on roads, drivers who are speeding first check the number plate and the model of the car and then decide whether to honk at it or not.
Mathew Litty
That's true, we are [selective] in who we want to be rude to.
Sophy Aqeel
Whenever I am driving on Shaikh Zayed Road and move in to the fast lane, someone always comes right behind me and starts honking, which is quite annoying.
Is a fast-paced lifestyle killing social niceties?
Kehkashan Basu
No, it's not because ... some people just think it is very smart to be rude, but I think it is quite foolish.
Megha Tony
How long does it take to say, “Good morning”? A reason for rudeness is that people assume they are superior to others. Or some people probably just want to be rude or are absent-minded.
Mathew Litty
Even at work, nobody greets each other, I mean like Megha said, how long does it take? We are so exhausted at the end of the day that we just don't know how to respect each other. Can't you just greet the person? We've become so rude! Maybe it is because you've got a better position or money, who knows?
Sunil Roy
Maybe because if you're being nice people will think you are a pushover. Talking about the fast-paced lifestyle, yes it is true that we are in a rat race. But we don't realise that even when we win the race, we are still a rat.
Sandhya Shetty
Character, they say, is a soup which is home-brewed. Why are we saying that people may be absent-minded or don't have the time? It is never too late to change yourself. I always greet my driver, or my colleague. I am not even ashamed to greet my cleaner. But sometimes when I sit back I feel like I may be taken for granted because of [being nice].
Sophy Aqeel
People may also be stressed. Stress is always a factor in our lives and we may not realise it, but it can be a reason [for rudeness].
Has condescension become a tool for gaining power?
Sophy Aqeel
Nowadays we just want to go up the ladder as fast as we can and people will do pretty much anything for success. When you talk about the office, politics always come along, which creates a very bad environment.
Lavanya Malhotra
In school everyone's quite polite with each other. All the students are encouraging and nice to blue-collar workers as well. It is very important that teachers do not raise their voice at children and are polite, otherwise it would just encourage the students to shout back.
Sunil Roy
When you talk about the corporate ladder, it is said that you should be nice to people when you go up, because these are the people you'll meet while coming down. You don't have to be rude to people to be successful.
Sandhya Shetty
People probably don't want to be rude, but if they aren't then they may not be considered ‘managerial material', and be taken to be too soft. The boss probably does not mean to hurt you but I've seen that if they've been rude the job gets done twice as fast. Sometimes, bosses have to reprimand to get the work done. There is a difference between the two approaches.
Megha Tony
But then that's not being rude, is it? In school being rude is something that doesn't exist, especially with teachers. You can be polite yet commanding, and things can get done.
Lavanya Malhotra
I use taxis quite regularly and I do feel that not all, but quite a few of the taxi drivers are extremely rude. If you are not going long distances, they won't take you and if they do, unless you give them a good tip they won't be very happy. They'll complain all the way or they'll speed.
Mathew Litty
When I take the bus and I see an elderly woman I do get up and offer my seat. Not because I need a thank you in return, but just because it is respectful. But I don't see many people doing that.
Sophy Aqeel
Impatient drivers are a big problem. Whenever we go in the mornings to let children take the bus, and the bus stops, I've seen so many people honking at the bus. It is 6am in the morning and you can't give the child two minutes to get on the bus? At times, my child falls because he panics.
Sandhya Shetty
Good manners are all about upbringing. We are relinquishing our duties as parents and blaming others for it. At the end of the day no matter how tired I am I give my time to my sons and I can't talk about tomorrow, but today I feel very proud when I go to their schools and their teachers compliment me on their manners. As parents we should be socially responsible for our kids' upbringing because what they grow up to be tomorrow is how I have brought them up today.
Conclusion
- Relationships in society are mutual, so people need to be polite to others to be respected.
- People often use rudeness as a way to get work done.
- Rude behaviour often reflects deep-seated social biases, where people are rude to those who they consider inferior.
