They didn’t ask for directions, hated washing dishes, and they never cried. Never. The men of yesteryear abided by rigid rules of manliness. But that ‘rough and tough’ image that defined masculinity a generation ago seems to have undergone an interesting transition. Today the gruff look has been replaced by the more polished ‘metrosexual’ image, with men making no secret of going for a pedicure or facial. They also seem to be entering job sectors like nursing and midwifery, which have traditionally been dominated by women. Add to that a changing social structure in which men are no longer necessarily the only breadwinners, and the whole concept of ‘masculinity’ seems to have turned on its head. But what has led to these changes? Have tougher women robbed men of their machismo? Or are men simply responding to different needs in a different time? Gulf News readers debate.
2:19 Gulf News: Any thoughts on these changes [in the concept of masculinity] in society?
2:22 Fauzia Raza: People belonging to the old school of thought might find metrosexual men and these new ways of beautification for men atrocious, but others will not.
2:31 K. Ragavan: I think appearance is also very important.
2:31 Yesha Gondalia: Women are trying to adopt men’s qualities, like being bold and trying to face any problems.
2:31 Fauzia Raza: In the past there were men who were impressive without going to parlours and spas.
2:32 Gulf News: So who do you think is an ‘impressive man’?
2:33 Fauzia Raza: Someone with a good sense of humour, a pleasant attitude, polite and courteous towards people. Here education plays a vital role.
2:34 Gulf News: And all these factors apply exclusively to men? One might argue that all these values are also important in women.
2:35 K. Ragavan: A lot of changes have taken place in men’s lives. They do have to take care of their health because of health hazards that come with being overweight. Education and technology, too, play a vital role.
2:37 Gulf News: [Do] men who express their emotions easily risk being labelled “unmanly”?
2:38 Rabab Hussain: I personally think men and women have their individual roles in society and there will always be some boundaries that neither sex should cross. A man going to a salon for personal hygiene is acceptable but crossing boundaries such as waxing, getting eyebrows done, wearing [inappropriate] clothes is a complete ‘no’.
2:39 Fauzia Raza: They are not unmanly, they have the right to express what they feel.
2:39 K. Ragavan: Some men might express their emotions, that’s true. But according to my experience, a majority won’t.
2:39 Huzaifa Shabbir Kalimi: These days society has become very accepting but having been born in this generation I feel it is still very traditional in terms of masculinity.
2:41 Rabab Hussain: But again a man can be expressive but will always be perceived as the stronger sex, so they can’t cry or vent like women. Honestly, all the men I know still prefer the ‘rough and tough’ image, isn’t that what truly differentiates the two sexes?
2:43 K. Ragavan: To a certain extent this is true. In today’s modern world, the attitude of men has changed from rough and tough.
2:44 Fauzia Raza: There are some men who are now softer and more polite while in the company of women.
2:46 Rabab Hussain: I think men are actually taken aback by the aggressive nature of women these days and don’t have enough time to react, thus being labelled more soft and polite.
2:46 Earlier men were expected to take the responsibility of winning the bread and fighting for the family. Today that has changed. Does that make a difference?
2:48 Fauzia Raza: Not really, as they feel with time they have to compromise if they want to have a luxurious life. Now both are breadwinners and household workers on an equal level.
2:49 Rabab Hussain: I agree with that. A man and a woman can share the role of the bread winner.
2:49 Yesha Gondalia: Men have nowadays developed a sense of equality with their wives. They share the same livelihood and most couples have this understanding with each other.
2:49 Fauzia Raza: Today, we see women being more dominating than their spouses in some areas, but men do not get hurt as they have accepted the importance of women in earning a livelihood and in other things as well.
2:50 Gulf News: Today, if a man would want to follow those traditional views on manliness, will they be considered out of place in today’s society?
2:52 Fauzia Raza: There would definitely be a mighty clash in their lives, as it will affet the balance in their lives. In today’s time they have to share the work load with women — everywhere.
2:54 Rabab Hussain: Not in my opinion ... there should be a balance ... men can still be rough and tough yet participate in household chores, be more expressive but steer clear from being more feminine.
2:54 Yesha Gondalia: I would also disagree.
3:06 Gulf News: Alright, so your final views on the subject: Has the concept of manliness changed?
3:06 Fauzia Raza: Yes it has … women want to see their men with a different attitude, which is without any ego and being understanding. Helping is the core, and being able to willingly accept their mistakes if they are wrong.
3:07 Rabab Hussain: Nope, but now men can choose to be more manly or less manly. If in return they are judged for that, it is something they will have to live with.
